Go Ahead. Cheat on Your Fat Wife. She Deserves It
When someone told me about the adultery search site AshleyMadison.com, I was fairly horrified. I'm pretty sure the someone was my husband, which should have perhaps been a relief. I'm guessing the men who are using that site to procure extramarital affairs are not likely to be chatting up their wives about where they're finding them.
I did not investigate the site, but, like most things, I did have some kind of fantasy about it. Not about using it. The idea of looking online for someone to cheat on my husband with is not all that appealing to me, even in fantasy format. But I did imagine what it might be like, based, I guess, mostly on the name and my husband's description. Ashley Madison. Like some combo of a hot cheerleader and a well-respected 19th-century first lady, the brand seems intended to appeal to both men and women - or men's fantasy of women and women's fantasies for themselves.
Related: Online infidelity - what counts as cheating?
But if their new ads are any indication, Ashley Madison has given up on the women's side of the equation.
The campaign, clearly intended to shock and provoke, has stirred up a predictably big mess. After the initial uproar, the company followed up with a related ad in response, giving readers a choice between the overweight woman and one who looked like a paid escort. The loudest voice in the outrage has been the large-size model pictured in both ads. The woman, known in the industry as Jacqueline, models on the website BBW.com (Big, Beautiful Woman) and claims her image was used without permission, sold by a photographer for whom she modeled years ago. (She did, however, sign a release with the photographer so has no legal recourse).
Related: Is infidelity always bad for a marriage?
Jacqueline told Jezebel: "There is an enormous problem in this world in regards to female body shaming, and not solely in regard to fat women, but all women. A size 2 woman who sees this ad sees the message: 'If I don't stay small, he will cheat.'" I found it particularly hideous that the ad showed Jacqueline in lingerie and in a position clearly intended to arouse. The same body dressed in a housedress would have still been offensive. But this ad says something very specific: you can't compete with perfection, no matter how hard you try. Should you fall short (or large), your man is encouraged to go looking for the more perfect object he desires - and deserves. This is a truly dangerous message to send to women who live in reality, not on the other side of the airbrush.
Will we see a follow-up ad with a similarly un-ideal man's body? I doubt it. Maybe the assumption is that women don't care as much about physical attributes, though I don't think that's true, especially in this context. Maybe Ashley Madison decided to blow off its female user base and focus on the male side of the market. (Some suggest they're actually stocking their pond with paid escorts to compensate for the lack of interest from actual married women.)
The idea of profiting from something so hurtful is disgusting enough, but using this vehicle to create fear and shame on top of it? Gross.
- By Rebecca Odes
Find out what day the most women sign up for AshleyMadison.com, at Babble!
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