His headlights blinded me in the parking lot. He was taller than I expected. Walking into the restaurant I could smell him. That awful smell. I try to explain to people that I have always been ultra sensitive to pheromones since as long as I can remember though when I first noticed it, I didn't know that was what they were called. The smell knocks me out and distracts me. I know it is ridiculous but it is something I can't help and something I can't change unless I suddenly lose my sense of smell.
I can't even describe the odor which has nothing to do with B.O. Freshly showered, it is simply the underlying scent of skin. Something that truly nauseates me. And I know in the first moments, there is no chance, because I cannot kiss someone I can never get close enough to kiss. What is worse, is when a man wears beautiful cologne and I can't smell it until that very first gentle kiss. That is a terrible thing. How can I possibly say to someone, "Sorry Sir, but the smell of you makes me want to vomit..." How do I explain that? And yes, that has happened to me more than once.
At least this time I knew right away. It was difficult to sit through dinner with this man who couldn't take his eyes off me, this man who told me how much he wanted to make a good impression, this man who seemed very nice. I seem to clam up on these occasions. Words are beyond me.
The other side of the coin is those men who smell wonderful to me I have difficulty resisting even if they are wrong for me in other ways. The good smell gets me in trouble as much as the bad. The last man I dated made me dizzy with his scent. I smelled him standing behind another man who was talking to me it was so strong. I didn't get in trouble from it, simply hurt because I didn't notice anything else at the time.
A lot of people will tell me I am being ridiculous-that it isn't fair to not give someone a chance who is perfectly wonderful just because of the smell factor. I just don't see how I can even try to have a relationship with a man I can't stand to be close to and sends my own skin crawling with repulsion.
Science is unsure about pheromones in humans. They agree there is something in a woman's tears that will turn a man off. But an actual sex pheromones among our species is not quiet proven.
Except with me.
I am proof but science hasn't been introduced to me yet.
Monika M. Basile