Alone at a Wedding? Meredith Goldstein, Author of "The Singles," is Here to Help

As an advice columnist and entertainment reporter at The Boston Globe, Meredith Goldstein, 34, has heard plenty of horror stories about the hazards of being single in general (and at weddings in particular). But her debut novel, "The Singles," isn't based on other people's problems.

"A lot of people have asked whether this book is inspired by my advice column, Love Letters. My simple answer is: No," she told Yahoo! Shine in an interview. "This book is inspired by how I behave when I'm not being an advice columnist - when I'm someone who needs advice. I had to shelve my sanity and levelheadedness in order to write this book. And it was wonderful. "

The book is set at the posh Maryland wedding of Beth "Bee" Evans and Matt Fee. Bee, who always hated going to weddings solo, has asked each guest to bring a date, but five of them -- Hannah, Vicki, Rob, Joe, and Nancy -- insist on attending alone. They are characters with which most readers can identify, no matter what their marital status is.

"We wedding singles are a diverse bunch," Goldstein points out. "We are recently divorced dads whose kids weren't invited to the party. We are college friends who haven't couple off, and grandparents who have lost a spouse."

Born in New Jersey, raised in Maryland, and now living in Roxbury, Massachusetts, with "a carnival-size cotton candy machine" that was her 30th birthday present to herself, Goldstein candidly admits that she used to be sad about her own single status at weddings. "But," she says, "I've learned to descend gracefully into the ninth seat at a table for eight."

The book has already been optioned for a film by Lime Orchard Productions, Goldstein says. It's a good thing, too -- just as main character Hannah, a casting director, amuses herself by picking famous actors to play roles in the situations she's stuck in, as a reader you end up imagining who would play these fabulously flawed characters on the big screen. "My fingers are crossed that the movie gets made - and that I get a cameo," Goldstein quips. "Maybe I can play a random wedding guest."

Shine: What was your inspiration for "The Singles?"

Meredith Goldstein: The novel was inspired by a few weddings (namely one) that I attended - very dateless - a few years ago. It was a memorable summer of dress after dress, speech after speech, and bachelorette party after bachelorette party. By that September, I had a book in me.

Shine: How many weddings have you attended as a single?

MG: I can't even begin to guess. A dozen or more, for sure. I'll be taking a friend to my sister's wedding this summer. It'll feel weird not to be alone.

Shine: Which is better, going to a wedding single as a bridesmaid, or as a guest?

MG: Depends on who's getting married, but I'd say it's always nice to be a bridesmaid. It means that you always have something to do and someone to talk to.

Shine: What's the best part about going to a wedding without a plus-one?


MG: You get to meet new people, and you can really be there for the person getting married. You don't have to worry about what time your date will want to go back to the hotel.

Shine: The worst?


MG: It can be lonely. Absolutely lonely. And weddings are a time for self-reflection. It's easy to start asking yourself, "Why am I here by myself?" Oh - and the stupid bouquet toss. Someone retire that, please. Or make it so that the men have to participate, too.

Shine: Everyone, single or not, has a wedding disaster story. What's yours?

MG: It's in this book, actually. All I'll say is: Never mix booze, lack of sleep, and nostalgia. The results, while book-worthy, are ridiculous.

Shine: You're a Syracuse grad, as are several of the characters in your book. How autobiographical is "The Singles"? Is there a character with whom you identify the most?

MG: I have to be honest - it's fairly autobiographical. The female characters are all pieces of me. But randomly, I relate to one of the male characters, Phil, the most. Like Phil, I'm a creature of habit. He's a guy who likes being alone. I can relate.

Shine: Have you heard about the middle-aged, divorced woman who decided to throw a wedding and marry herself? What do you think?

MG: I'm sure it was a fun party, but I'm not convinced that this woman won't be sending her friends a real wedding invitation in a few years. I believe that singles have a million reasons to celebrate themselves -- and that they should do so without turning themselves into martyrs. I had a little celebration for myself when I bought my tiny condo. And I plan to have a big party to mark the release of this book. Weddings are just one reason to ask friends for support and kudos. There are so many other causes for celebration (and gifts).

Shine: What's your favorite "ice breaker" question, for when you're seated with strangers?

MG: "Does anyone know anything about the cake?" Wedding cake is important to me. I love cake. Most people do. Usually that question gets a few responses. People suddenly start talking about their hopes for dessert.

Shine: What are your favorite tips for going it alone at a wedding?

MG: Don't make up a new persona. Please. You'll get caught. And you might meet someone nice, and then you're stuck with a fake identity. My big tips are to force yourself to talk to three people during the party, and to make sure that you're in a nice, comfortable room. Don't bunk with six single bridesmaids to save money. You'll wind up resenting the bride. Treat the wedding like a vacation and spend some money on yourself. Get a nice breakfast and a comfortable bed.

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Also on Shine:

Can singles ultimately be happy alone?
One reason to wear a wedding ring -- even if you're single
9 reasons to love weddings if you're single