OK, let us get this straight. A guy attacked his girlfriend's 10-pound Yorkie Emmit, breaking six ribs, damaging one eye so badly that it had to be removed, and bruising his kidney. And the woman is still dating him?!
It happened back in January when the boyfriend, Joseph, was pet-sitting for his girlfriend, Ashley, according to the New York Daily News. He allegedly let Emmit suffer for two days before seeking medical attention, at which point the cops were called. Joseph was handed down a 40-day sentence for misdemeanor animal cruelty.
He was released from jail this week and Ashley walked out of the courthouse with him, all smiles and holding his hand. What the eff?
We're clearly on Team Emmit, which is why we came up with four ways for the pooch to get back at Joseph.
1. Pretend to be asleep at the end of the bed while Ashley and Joseph are getting it on. Then blog about how tiny his junk is.
Related: What to Do if He's...err...Small
2. Make a neutering appointment at the vet. For Joseph.
3. Round up all the Saint Bernards, Great Danes, and Mastiffs in your neighborhood. Then invite them to come with you and sic Joseph. While he's being attacked and wrestled to the ground by those pups, he'll realize he should really pick on someone his own size.
4. Go after his eye. We don't really believe in "an eye for an eye" mentality, but in this case, we'd be willing to make an exception.
Related: Low-Down and Dirty Breakup StoriesDo you think Ashley is crazy to stick with Joseph? What would you do if you were her? Could you ever date a guy who didn't like your pet?
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