By Lynn Zavaro, BounceBack.com Contributor and Author of The Game Of You
Charlie Sheen swears he's not using drugs and has recently tested negative for drug use, yet clearly seems to be exhibiting hypo-manic behavior. Regardless if he is using or not, his erratic behavior, rage and grandiosity are showing the public a man who has gone way off the deep end.
Sure, you may not be dating someone who thinks he is a "rock star from Mars" or has "Adonis DNA", but you may be dating someone whose instability is keeping you from being balanced, at peace and having the happiness you deserve.
Here are 5 questions to consider if you think you may be dating a "Crazy Maker":
1.) Are you playing the role of a rescuer? Many times when we are in a relationship with a "Crazy Maker" we focus on their needs to avoid having to meet our own. We expend a lot of our energy trying to help, save, fix, support, care for, counsel, or focus on the other's issues in order to have an excuse to not look at ourselves. In the end, being a "rescuer" is an easy way out, keeping us from doing what we need to do to care for ourselves.
2.) Are you drawn to drama? Yes, the person you are dating may be the life of the party, the sex may be over-the-top and life may feel like a wild roller-coaster ride. But we tend to conveniently overlook that with every high there is a crash to follow. You may feel like you are on top of the world when you are together, but what does it feel like to have no peace, rest or self-care? You don't have to be a rock star to be extraordinary. Take a look to see why you are in need of this kind of drama and investigate healthy self-nurturing ways to find inner and outer balance again.
3.) Is this person the reason for your unhappiness? It's certainly easy to blame the "Crazy Maker" that wreaks havoc in your life. But the result of pointing the finger is that you remain a victim to the other's choices, patterns and behaviors. You may complain to your friends about the difficulties in your relationship but continue to make the choice to let the "Crazy Maker" hold the reins and lead the way. Take your control back, stand in your own power and make self-serving choices to create your own happiness.
4.) Do you feel "used" or taken advantage of? Crazy-makers have no boundaries. They are self-important, selfish and want the world to revolve around them and their dramas. Like vampires sucking the life out of you they manipulate, make promises they cannot keep, and silently creep into every part of you to get what they want. Check in to see if this happening to you, "zip yourself up" and say "No" to what no longer serves you. Honestly look at what you are willing to do and not willing to do and stick by that.
5.) Does this person make you feel uber special, lovable, and beautiful? Somehow, we buy into the lie that we are more special, lovable and important when Crazy Makers engage us in dramatic passion and take us with them on their constant drive to be high. We desire our car to be "filled up with gas" by the other but, when we look to someone else to feel complete or give us something we have not yet learned to give ourselves, in reality our tank will remain empty. We lose our own sanity when we believe that this unstable person can actually give us the security we need. So know the truth about who you are - special, lovable AND beautiful! Then, you'll no longer want the "Crazy Maker's crazy" in your life anymore.
Lynn Zavaro has emerged as a leading voice in the art of guiding others to know themselves and create the life they've always envisioned. She has a Masters degree in Counseling Psychology and her book and card deck set, The Game of You™ offers a powerful, profound and FUN experience of self-discovery and transformation. Learn to resolve daily issues, develop better relationships, and come to better understand your life's path and purpose. Try the online version.
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