Rhonda from Colorado writes:
I am currently engaged to a man that I love very much. He is the only person I have truly been in love with. The only problem is that he has been married before. I have never been married, and I always assumed when I got married it would be the first time for both of us. Other than that everything is perfect, but I can't help but get upset when I think about it. Is that enough to call off the wedding?
Only you can decide if this is a big enough issue to call off your wedding. Personally I think it would be a shame to miss out on a potentially wonderful marriage if the only thing that bothers you is his previous marriage. Picture yourselves being married for twenty years. Will it really matter to you then? Imagine all of the happiness you would be missing out on.
My husband was married once before also, and I decided to look past his previous relationship. In fact, I think my husband's past relationship has actually made our relationship stronger. When someone is in a bad relationship they really appreciate being in a good one. My husband is still so thankful for everything that I do for him. He is thankful for things that guys I dated previously (that had never been married) would not have even noticed.
I think this really depends on whether you can look at this as a positive factor (he will appreciate you more, he has probably learned a lot from his past relationship) or not.
If you do indeed marry him, you will have to completely let go of the fact he has been married before. You can't hold it against him or throw it in his face at all. If you aren't willing to completely let go then you should not get married yet. There is no rush in getting married, so until you can make your mind up 100% don't walk down the aisle.
Good Luck, and keep me posted!
Brandi Hamrick, life and dating coach