Dear Em & Lo,
I am a 26-year-old lady and I love sex. I feel like I am addicted to it. If it were up to me, I'd do it five times a day just over and over and over. Also, my boyfriend lives far away; we only see each other once or twice in a week, so I masturbate like every night. Is that normal?
Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, oh god YES!
We're not shrinks, but it doesn't sound to us like you're addicted. Just imagine a guy asking the same question! Most guys we know masturbate about as often as they floss (at least, the ones with excellent dental hygiene habits do). Masturbating every day is good for you! It puts a smile on your face, it reduces stress, it can help lessen the symptoms of PMS, it pretty much always ends up in an orgasm for you, and it's 100 percent guaranteed not to give you an STD! (assuming you're not using someone else's sex toy or rubbing your hands all over your oral herpes and then putting them down your pants). [Video: What's Your Favorite Masturbation Fantasy?]
And while not everyone wants sex five times a day, we don't think there's anything inherently weird about that, either. Plenty of guys want sex that often--you just happen to be one of those lucky gals who enjoys sex as much as the average dude. If you loved chocolate, we bet you'd want chocolate five times a day. You love sex, you want it five times a day. Big f-ing deal! It's free, it's doesn't have any calories, it won't rot your teeth, and as long as you always practice safer sex, it can be good for you, too.
Want it morning, noon and night? See how your sexual appetite stacks up.
You know what the problem is? You're constantly hearing about women who don't have a high sex drive and who don't want sex all the time. But guess what? Not all women are like that. Just take our "You Decide" advice-seeker from last week, for example. Our female readers like to prove everyone wrong about the stereotypes of the female libido. Nasty rumors to the contrary, it's alive and well all over the country!
That all said, if you feel like your non-sex life is suffering at the hands of your sex drive (Psychology Today has a pretty good definition of actual sex addiction), then you should of course seek out professional help: Talk to a counselor or therapist or even your doctor, if you feel comfortable.
But if, as we strongly suspect, your interest in sex and masturbation isn't having any negative effects on other areas of your life--i.e. you're still calling your mom once a week, you're making it to the office every day, you're not risking your sexual or emotional health, etc.--then we don't think you have anything to worry about. In fact, consider yourself one lucky b*tch !
Addicted to the lovelorn,
Em & Lo
Related: Is "Sex Addiction" Real or Ridiculous? The Great Debate
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