Is Hollywood in Retrograde?
Every day, it seems, another pair of broken-up stars are Rubber-Cementing themselves into a couple again.
We've got the new OK Magazine cover: "I'm back with John!" Note the sunny yellow print
with Jen Aniston flipping a grin as she throws a backward glance (subliminal body language message?) Mayer's rep has refuted the whole thing as "100 percent fabricated," so let's hold that thought while we....
... check out People, which has a story on actor Balthazar Getty and his wife, Rosetta, reuniting after a two-year hiatus-inspired by a paparazzi bust of Balthazar romping with a topless actress in Italy.
That actress would have been Sienna Miller-who's gotten back together with her ex (above). Just few days ago at Fashion Week in London, he (being the actor Jude Law) told Women's Wear Daily, "I'm here because I love Sienna Miller." Aside from their movies, the reconstituted couple can now bond over cheating secrets: Lest we have collective amnesia, they split up in 2006 because he was doing the nanny.
And here's another pair of dueling adulterers: former model Stephanie Seymour and real-estate magnate hubby, Peter Brant. They've been viciously scratching each other's eyes out in an acrid divorce.But a few days ago, they walked into the court hand-in-hand, announced they were reconciling, and drove off into the sunset.
And, oh, the Internet this week suffered a Speidi infestation. One of the new photos to surface shows Spencer's clean-shaven face nestled against Heidi's silicone acreage-looking as if to say, "Divorce? Sex tape? Costa Rica? It' all good." (click here)
Granted celebrities are a separate species when it comes to romance, have you noticed a new embracement of Ex Love?
What's with the nebulous breakups? Many experts argue that technology is turning relationships into urban sprawl so they don't end succinctly anymore. "I remember breaking up with a woman in the Stone Age when we wrote letters for a little while," says Rhode Island psychiatrist Scott Haltzman, MD, author of The Secrets of Happily Married Women. "That amount of space and time permitted you emotionally to understand the impact of separation. In the electronic age, the communication is immediate, and the intensity of always seeing the other person on Facebook continues to foster a relationship that makes breaking up much more difficult."
In fact, one thing that surprised anthropologist Ilana Gershon, PhD, interviewing young people for her book, The Breakup 2.0: Disconnecting Over New Media, is how often she was unable to tell what was, or wasn't, a dump. "A text saying 'it's over,' did not necessarily mean it's over," she told me. "It was more like saying, 'We need to talk about where this relationship is going.'"
What's so bad about a sort-of break up? "I think the on-again, off-again thing is unhealthy," says dating and life coach Andrea Syrtash, author of He's Just Not Your Type. "Intellectually you think you're keeping the door open to meeting other people, but psychologically you're fooling yourself."
What are the odds of things working out with your ex?
"I'm not a believer in being environmentally friendly with boyfriends," says Syrtash. "I don't think we should recycle. There are good reasons, most of the time, we wanted to end it." Naturally those reasons are going to elude you when you're home alone with Netflix. But trust us, they'll come roaring back before the afterglow of reunion sex wears off. "I think it's common for people to get back together-if you had chemistry once, you probably still have it," says Boston psychologist Alice Domar, PhD, an assistant professor at Harvard Medical School and executive director of the Domar Center for Mind/Body Health. "However, I don't think it's common for the relationship to survive. In general people don't change that much."
Should you ever try? Sometimes there was a clear deal-breaker like drinking or gambling that split you up, says Haltzman. If that partner addresses the problem-becomes sober, quits Blackjack-and you have reason to believe the change will stick, "it certainly makes sense to test the waters and see if you can get back on track." Most of the time, however, the issues are a little murkier-personality differences or failed expectations. "In that case," says Haltzman, "the only way getting back together would be successful is if the change comes from the person who was annoyed or upset. He or she would have to achieve some kind of real acceptance."
We haven't talked about cheating. Rosetta Getty has said it was her four children with Balthazar that made her open to taking him back. But will he run off again? "If he cheated on you before, it's pretty likely he'll cheat on you again," says Domar. "Jerry Hall was furious at Mick Jagger for cheating on her with that model from Brazil. But he'd cheated on Bianca with Jerry Hall!! So if you were the cheatee, don't be surprised if there's a rerun."
Let's bet. Do you think Jude and Sienna and the other celebrity couples will stay together? Have you ever gotten back with an ex?
For other breakups and makeups ...
Divorce, Courtesy Facebook
Long Distance Love 2.0
Relationship Detox: 5 New Rules No Woman Should be Without
[Photo Credit: Jude Law & Sienna Miller/Kevin Mazur/Getty Images] [Photo Credit: Balthazar & Rosetta Getty/Jeff Vespa/Getty Images][Photo Credit: Stephanie Seymour & Peter Brandt: Tony Barson/Getty Images]
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