My life the open book.
So here I am, all winded out. I didn't plan for this, just as I didn't plan the drama-filled adventures that have enveloped my almost four years of singledom since my divorce started. I have no regrets, since I enjoyed (most) of what my journey entailed. With the exception of a lover with ED, I'd say I loved every minute as a single woman blogging about her escapades.
Until Things Got Real.
Relationship helpI didn't know any better, or at least that's my best defense. I was grieving from a divorce in which I had the trifecta of disappointments: I was left for another woman (betrayal), I lost my first love and my best friend at the same time.
Who in their right mind wouldn't try to vent their frustrations in some way shape or form?
Well, I'm only human, full of emotions and hurt just like anyone else, regardless of my "tough single mom" facade.
If you cut me, I bleed.
There's one person I care about the most, regardless of the pain I've encountered in my strange years of being single and blogging endlessly about it. So our paths crossed and weren't meant to be, but we care equally about each other to this day. Might I be so bold to say, "I've grown."?
A sample of my ignorant and "growing" days.
Yes, even old dogs learn new tricks, like how to love yourself, how to not need the approval of others, and how to manage to go days, months and years without the care, acceptance and "touch" of others, even though it's harder than a diamond, quite literally! Since I've come to terms with myself, I no longer take chats with men in relationships, I no longer feel the need to entertain trolls on forums, and I certainly don't need to "please" my family members who are consistently trying to keep me in their co-dependent web.
Living life Awkwardly.
Like Jenna from a teen show on MTV, I would post my dating and relationship faux pas for the entire world to read about. But you know what? Life is not a drama for teens on MTV ― it's real life. Real people get hurt from your blog posts. Real relationships suffer from your drama meddling via the internet.
I wash my hands of that karma.
So what have I learned the last few years? A lot.
Instead of trying to vent my dating relationships through an international media that shares private information with the world, I choose to live my life privately. I have few close acquaintances and like it that way.
Now I find time to try help others struggling with their relationships problems. A few times (I admit), I still try to reach out anonymously online by posting comments about what kind of dating/relationship advice I'd give.
I have the background, so give me credit.
Don't get me wrong: I've done countless hours of research and reading on topics from avoiding players to erectile dysfunction. In the end, I feel like my knowledge should serve a purpose. I regret hurting the people I care about.
Sandwich Guy: You are forever in my thoughts, damn you. No matter what, I'm going to push you in the right direction, whether you like it or not. That is, during our limited encounters with each other.
If you'd like to embark on a new journey with me, keep your eyes out for my new and improved blogs. Until then, you can learn about relationships and dating (while catching up with me) on my Examiner web site. My purpose in life is to help others. It is my solemn duty to provide you with my humble service, so stay tuned.