Bodies don't lie! 6 signals from his body that reveal how he really feels about you.
- Carrie Seim, BettyConfidential.com
Guys rarely win prizes for gifted emotional speeches. (Unless you consider grunting a romance language.) So it can be extremely daunting to decipher when a guy's really into you - or really into the game playing on the big screen behind you.
While the man you're flirting with at happy hour may not leap to his feet and declare his love in iambic pentameter, his body language is actually waxing poetic. So take a cue from Olivia Newton John and listen to his body talk!
BettyConfidential asked professional body language experts to share the signs, signals and postures men display when they're digging you. Here's what to look for:
1. He tilts his head.
"When people are comfortable with each other, you see a lot more of the head tilting sideways," says Joe Navarro, a former FBI profiler and author of What Every Body Is Saying. "Men tend not to do that unless they're interested in you. So when they're conversing with you, you can tell they're more and more interested … because you'll see more and more of the head tilt."
Just make sure those sideways glances are the result of your glowing visage - not six glasses of wine.
2. He defies gravity.
Navarro describes another set of signals men send when they're lusting for a lady as "gravity defying behaviors." These include arching eyebrows, emphasizing with eyebrows and levitating slightly on tiptoes.
"Men do that more than women," Navarro says. "What's interesting is that when men are trying to impress women, you'll see more of those gravity defying behaviors. When we care about things, we're willing to spend more energy, and it doesn't take any energy to remain flat footed."
Is there a dating site for single astronauts?
3. He opens up.
"Women often miss the obvious because they are 'afraid' he doesn't like them or 'think' that he doesn't like them," says Philadelphia-based psychologist Doris Jeanette, author of Opening the Heart.
But Dr. Jeanette points out that it's easy to gauge a man's interest by focusing on how much he physically opens himself up to you. You get a gold star if a guy …
- Moves closer to you
- Leans toward you
- Points his feet towards you
- Smiles at you
- Shares something about himself with you
Hopefully whatever he shares doesn't begin with the words, "This one time, at a strip club in Tijuana …"4. He frames his package. Yes that package.
Vincent Harris, a body language expert and author of The Productivity Epiphany, says men often emphasize their masculinity around women they're attracted to by standing with their hands on their hips or slightly puffing up their chests.
"Of the many ways women can tell if men are interested, you can be fairly certain this is the case if he … [is] hooking his thumbs in his pockets, unconsciously framing his genitals," says Harris.
BettyConfidential would like to add that of the many ways women can tell if men are interested, you can be absolutely certain this is the case if he is showing you his genitals.
5. He preens for you.
Harris says that men also preen themselves when they're crushing on a girl. If a man is adjusting his tie, pulling up his socks, pulling down his sleeves or touching his hair - all that grooming means he's va-va-vooming for you.
"This is a very powerful courtship behavior," adds former FBI profiler Navarro. "Because we're primates, we try to look our best when we're trying to attract, so we save it for the people we care for."
6. He stands up straight.
Lorne Caplan, who studies body language and sells "pheromone perfumes" on his Web site, reminds us that men use their posture to signal confidence.
"I often use the example of a person at a cocktail party who sees someone across the room and feels attracted to a specific individual," explains Caplan. "Why is that? The erstwhile couple is at a minimum of 10 feet away. They cannot likely distinguish that person's smell … yet they 'feel' captivated, perhaps a twinge in their stomach or lower. It is in fact visual cues of a person who is likely in a confidence posture. That is what is sexiest about another human."
That, and access to a black AmEx.
What body language do you notice from guys who are into you?
Carrie Seim, Betty's L.A. Correspondent, is a writer and comedian keeping it real in L.A., New York and @ www.carrieseim.com