It's a dilemma countless cuckolds have faced over the course of human history. You catch your main squeeze cheating and what do you do? A: Break up. B. Passive-aggressively torture them 'til death do you part. C. Devise a fiendish and humiliating punishment and get over it.
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According to a recently posted letter on Reddit, a young woman identified only as "Emma" chose "C." The document in question is titled "My loser boyfriend's scavenger hunt: Acts of kindness to women." In it, the spurned lover demands a series of embarrassing acts be completed, witnessed, and photographed by a certain date in order to gain forgiveness. There is no way of verifying if the document is real — the Reddit user has since deleted its user name. But, many of the details are specific and inspired.
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For instance, when buying pantyhose, they must be "control top" she insists, and don't even think about coming home without trying on "purple" flats. Purple! Reapply lip-gloss often and publicly. Others, such as this demand, "Ask a woman wearing high heels to massage her feet" seem to defeat the purpose of thwarting a man's urge to stray.
- Go to a drug store and ask the sales clerk to help you find a pair of Opaque Control Top Pantyhose and a pair of Sheer Black Pantyhose. Purchase them and find somewhere to put on both pairs.
- Purchase clear lip gloss and apply it to your cheating lips. Leave this on for the rest of your scavenger hunt!
- Ask a group of girls to carry their shopping bags for them for at least 10 minutes.
- Ask a woman wearing high heels to massage her feet.
- Find a store the sells Spanx and ask to try on a pair. Take a picture.
- Go to a women's shoe store and try on black 4-inch heels, purple flats, and a pair of boots. Have the sales women take a picture of each.
- Order a Soy Latte at Starbucks and reapply your lip gloss in front of someone.
- Find a store that sells exclusively women's dresses and ask to try at least 3 dresses on. You must also ask to have your picture taken.
While meting out such punishment may feel cathartic, the real question is: Does the strategy work or might it force the delinquent guy or gal back into arms of their lover? Since apparently only four demands were completed, it suggests perhaps "Emma" wasn't actually worth the effort. And, given that most of the challenges were based on looking stupid by doing girly stuff, she (if she is a she) is not a woman with much genuine self-regard. Maybe "Emma" needs to take a lesson from the writer of the now infamous "Kelsi letter" who also sent her philandering beau away on a post-cheat journey—for good.