Sergio De DivitiisBreaking up with a nice guy is never an easy thing to do. He may do everything you've ever wanted, but if you're still not into him don't think that one day you'll just wake up and fall in love. You have to break it off and there's a right way to do it. Relationship expert Dr. Michelle Callahan gave us her best tips.
By Ariel Nagi
Think it through first
Make sure you really do want to let him go. "Is it better or worse than other relationships you've had in the past? Remember, the grass always looks greener on the other side! Some women find 'good' guys boring until they hook-up with a 'bad boy' and then realize that drama is overrated," Callahan says. If you know in your heart that there is no chemistry, then it's best that you break up. But if you're just afraid he's "too nice," you may be overlooking your own feelings and worried about his.
Think about what you want to say and be imagine his reactions so you're prepared. "If he's really awesome he's going to be confused by your decision so prepare yourself by thinking things through before you speak to him," Callahan says.
Do it privately and always in person
Never break up in public. The worst thing is to have an audience behind you watching you break this guy's heart if he's really into you. If you don't want to be at anyone's house, go for a walk down a street that isn't too busy. "If you know he'll be upset choose a location that minimizes his embarrassment," Callahan says.
Make sure you give a concrete reason
Be ready for him to ask questions and try to make you change your mind. This is why your reasoning has to be solid. Maybe let him know you can't move forward because you just aren't ready to settle down.
Understand that things can get uncomfortable between you both
Be mindful that he could have become more attached to than you think, and this could be hard for him. "Imagine a time when someone broke up with you and you couldn't understand why he didn't see what a catch you were-remember how you felt? That's how he's going to feel so realize it may not be possible to end this conversation on a positive note," Callahan says.
Don't promise a future friendship/relationship
If you're not into now, don't assume you will be later. Definitely don't tell him that you can be friends or in a relationship because you could mislead him into thinking he has another chance. "He's probably the kind of guy you'd like to have as a friend but it will only cause you both more heartache if remaining friends keeps him pushing for more. Let him know you need a clean break in order to move on," Callahan says.
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