Can Growing Up in a 'Broken Home' Ruin You For the Game of Love?

Hello Guys!!!

I am completely late in responding, because I had no idea this was posted! I appreciate everyone's feedback- Although, there are many of you who don't agree- it's to each his own- That's why we're all indiviuals. However, like it has happened to me it does happen to some individuals- People value family differently everywhere, so I guess it's how you value your own. Which in my case family is pretty important to me, and has a huge impact on my life.

Thanks for reading! Please continue to support!

i grew up with NO men around me. some older brothers but they were long gone before i could remember. i grew up around nothing but single women that showed me that you can be independent and make it on your own. its a tough mentality to break which im not sure i will break. ill use a dude for what need. most guys these days re okay with that but theres a lot of stuff i dont need a guy for. i have no patience to do relationships anyway.. they seem like a waste of time at this point in my life

Bull. As soon as I saw "broken home" in the title, I skipped the rest. Horse puckey.

I'm from a broken home, and I too am always afraid of being left. But you have to rise above that part and realize that not all men are like that. It's a conscious decision, and one that has to be made many times. You learn by comparing men not to the father you wish you had, but by comparing them to Jesus. The more they have in common with Him, the better. Then, after you go through a few frogs, you find the one that your father *should* have been like. That's the one you keep. And that's the one that won't leave, will have patience with your fears, and who will try to help you heal.

i think my husband does not know how to handle or treat me sometimes becuase his mother left him when he was 3mos old....such a sad story now im the one that pays for it, im kinda bitter towards her, i gave birth to her grandchild and i could never see myself just leaving becuase i felt like it.

You know, everyone is saying, "Mature and get over it". Somethings are easier said than done. Respect that people mature and grow acceptance at different rates. I have been through a lot in my life, however I learned to not let the dysfunction of past generations affect my future. It does not mean that those feelings don't exist everytime I wake up and move through my day, but it means that the thoughts dull everyday that I live and breath. I hope this helps. Oh, and hunny, everyone is looking for Mr. Right. Not finding him at a certain time doesn't mean that you are damaged goods, it means that you are single and independent in 2011. ;)

I didn't see any studies cited here, so I'll assume it's just one person's opinion/psychological problem, stated as if it was a universal fact. Sloppy. There was no distinction made between kids with divorced parents with healthy relationships with BOTH parents, and kids with an absent parent. Really sloppy. And I for one find the term "broken home" offensive. I know some "homes" with two parents that are a lot less functional than my one-parent home.

Beyond that, plenty of people have lousy models for relationships even in two-parent households--I did. Living in a 2-parent household taught me nothing about how to relate to a partner. Yet I am in a good relationship, because I grew up and stopped blaming other people for my problems.

Growing up with a single mother, and being the only kid in my group of friend who came from a "broken home" i can say this with confidence. My girlfriends who had both parents, seem to have the fairytale image burned into their brains of a man coming to sweep them off their feet and cater to them the rest of their lives. They are all single as well.
I on the other hand look at relationships in a different light. I know that they sometimes fall apart. the people sometimes dont stay in love, or cant make things work. So going into a relationship i dont expect my man to bring anything to the table that i cannot bring myself. I understand relationships take time and work and when things get tough you fight. Now this is all my opinion but the two parent girls i know cant be in a room without having to be noticed by a guy. they HAVE to have that attention. Me?... i could take it or leave it.

I think we should also remember that the end all for everyone isn't marriage, and I almost consider it a benefit if your goal isn't to fall in love and get married. Who says you have to or that's the way to fullfillment?

I'm sorry to say: Yes, it's true, especially when your parents had a fairy tale love story and they just grew apart... You'll automatically believe that ALL relationships end up this way...

it is not about maturing... my parents split up when i was born, so i never had my father by my side.. only on the holidays but it still had a great impact in my life. Now that I've been with my bf for almost 5 years I'M scared to move on.. I sometimes feel that I dont need him in my life because I know im independent about to finish school and that it will be okay if i dont get married. I love him so much... but it just scares me if it doesnt work out like it happened to my mom.

Whats worse, a broken family or an unhappy couple?

I would love to know from some of these women who say they had a broken home growing up but have since found love or a stable relationship? I myself am 28 and grew up raised only by my father since I was less than 2 years old. My dad did the best he could but its more than apparent to me that the lack of female figure in my life has cause great problems within my relationships. Very similar to the opposite, of those who had a mother and not a father, I need validation and have a fear of abandonment. Being aware of this I try very hard to not let it affect my relationships but if the guy doesn't have the same background, its much much more difficult. So I would love to know what type of guy these women found and at what age? I'm hoping to find mine soon...

I come from a broken home and still very rarely talk to my father. I've basically disowned his whole side as well, but in my situation I think it was the right thing for me. I think it can be harder for to trust someone because my mom made horrible decisions in men most of my life. I think it made me pickier and my hub is understanding. I was always the dumper when I dated, rarely the dumpee. It was just easier for me to walk around if I smelled trouble, I was a little gun shy. I guess it takes you meeting the right guy before you're okay with it, whether you're 21 or 51 when it happens.

My parents divorced when I was 5 and my husbands parents divorced when he was 4. Luckily, all parents were still involved in our upbringings. As an adult, I can choose to NOT do what my parents did. I have learned from them. I have so much faith in my relationship that I dont have any fear of a future divorce. I think my and my husbands personalities are much more compatable than our parents ever were.

I believe it can ruin, or at least damage the game of love for someone. My mom finally divorced my sperm donor this year (i'm 16) and i hate my sperm donor. I choose not to see him. Although we hate him, my sister's boyfriends have ended up being just like him, and now I'm afraid that's what will happen to me too.

After reading this i started realizingf that I have a need to please the men in my life. Not that I expected any approval, i just needed to try to please them. My parents split when i was 8 so I did have time to fall in love with my dad. But I found since I was raised after the split-up in a blended family, I guess I just wanted to be noticed by my Step-father. My Mom worked full-time and didn't give me all the attention I craved.
Now after 2 marriages and almost 50 years old I always question my actions before following thru. "Am I doing this because I need to please him/her?"

My husband grew up in a broken home and was raised by his mom who expected him to get a job and help pay for groceries even when he was in high school. I think it has made my husband more determined to do everything to make our marriage work. He makes sure to tell me and the kids every day at least 3 times how much he loves us. He also will take time no matter how busy he is to play with our kids. He wants to make sure they dont grow up like he did.

i think i can relate...sad but true

I agree. I grew up without a father, however, i have 3 blood related brothers which i guess i still sort of had male models to look too. I grew up liking to be independent and still do. this articles is the story of my life, except im going to try and change my thoughts because its time for me to settle down in a real true relationship.