If you've spent any time experimenting with online dating, then you know all about how the medium can encourage your inner control freak. The fact that the form you fill out lets you specify exactly who you're looking for -- non-smoker, Phish fan, rich lawyer, whatever -- can trick you into thinking that you can be just that picky in the real world. Not that you should settle, of course. But online dating can make you too quick to dismiss a potential candidate just because he doesn't share your taste for high-end coffee.
Daily Bedpost thinks CrazyBlindDate.com is dating's Russian roulette.
Which is why we love this uber-specific ad from Craigslist NY: SWF who isn't asking too much. "I love life and am only looking for a man who is not an idiotic pig-headed beer-swilling moron (which seems to be hard to find in this city)," she writes. "I do know the internet and its dating potential. So far it has let me down every single time." Then she goes on to list every single thing that the man of her dreams must do, own, like, and be prepared for, from the amount of corduroy in his closet to the way he hangs the toilet paper to a willingness to be home from 2-6pm on Saturdays to receive packages." She's joking, of course. At least, a little bit. If you read all the way to the bottom, she admits, "If you see yourself in even a FEW of my specifications, you are invited to apply. Think of it more like a guidebook to my heart."
This got us thinking about what our anal guidebook to our hearts would look like. We'll spare you the full download and just share an abridged version here for each of us...
Must be prepared to put dirty dishes in the dishwasher immediately rather than leaving them to "soak" in the sink.
Must use bookmarks rather than ruining the spine of every book by leaving it open face-down.
Must be willing to spend at least half of your vacation days traveling to visit my family in England.
Must be willing to share the Sunday New York Times crossword.
Must hang towels properly (and not all bunched-up so they get moldy-smelling in one day).
Must be willing to do what you say you will do and must NEVER call me a "nagger" if you don't do what you say you will do and I have to remind you. That's NOT a nag, it's a reminder.
Must not steal my laptop juice.
Must enjoy The Daily Show and Keith Olberman.
Must find America's Funniest Home Videos hilarious.
Must agree that the finalists on American's Funniest Home Videos are NEVER the funniest ones.
Must get mad when obviously fake videos make it onto the show.
Must never say to me -- except in jest -- "What would Em & Lo do?"
What about the deeper and more universal needs that are crucial to nearly every woman's happiness? Behold 20 things every woman deserves from the guy in her life.
Must enjoy "classy" reality TV (i.e. The Amazing Race, Survivor, Project Runway) but not tacky reality TV (I Love New York, Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, basically anything on VH1).
Must love animals but not eat them or have any as pets (unless it's one indoor lap cat who doesn't shed and only eats dry food).
Must cook, because I can't.
Must love feminists but be willing to handle all bugs, mice, etc.
Must be a feminist himself.
No professional finance guys, though you must be able to manage your money.
Must be able to do my taxes for me.
Must be a Mac guy.
Must be willing to wear eyeliner occasionally -- at least on Halloween.
No sports fanatics, except if you consider Texas Hold 'Em a sport (watching the Summer Olympics every four years is okay too).
Speaking of: Must play Texas Hold 'Em, but never lose money at it.
No body hair nazis (whether mine or yours).
Must have rhythm and like to dance, both in public and in private.
Loves to travel but will let me do all the planning.
Possesses "elfin magic" and not a trace of old-fashioned machismo (bulky muscles included).
Must play guitar and write me at least one love song that actually mentions the word "love" and doesn't mention my oral prowess.
Is not more in shape than me (but isn't too much more out of shape than me, either).
Believes in a ladies-come-first policy (wink, wink).
Tivo enthusiast a plus.
So, what would be at the top of the anal guidebook to your heart?
Related: Ryan from the Single-ish blog had his first online date!
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