Confessions of a Wedding Planner: 5 Signs a Couple Will Crash and Burn

Gina: "I'm a bit traditionalist, but a woman has to understand that her husband is the head of their household. She has to learn to yield."

No, the couple has to learn how to be equal partners. If one or both of them is a control freak during the engagement, they're going to be a control freak during the marriage, regardless of their gender.

I agree with #2, unless you ask for input, she should keep out! Most men don't like to make decisions for the wedding, they leave it up too the bride, so I don’t see why this is a big deal. Some men do and they should have a say so. Especially if they are the ones paying for it. If neither likes something, they should come to an agreement or compromise. It’s 50/50.

Me, my guy, a few friends and a justice of the peace. This wedding nonsense is a waste of money. I never hear good stories...just horror stories about nasty fights with the finace, tux issues, dress issues, the flowers being dead, the cake tasting like cardboard, the grooms mother interfering and the maid of honor sleeping with the best man. Ugh. All of that is so NOT the point of getting married.

This is right on point! I am in the thick of my wedding plans (September wedding) and I can see this is the true test of if your relationship is the right one. The wedding is not just for the bride (I love my groom - he says this is my day so I can do whatever I want) - it's for both in the relationship. I want my future husband to be a part of the planning and make decisions with me (even if we don't agree - it's a great exercise in compromise). On bachelor parties - We both have told our wedding party - do NOT waste your money on strippers/hookers. But if it happens - oh well. I am not coming between my future husband and his friends. I am MARRYING him - not adopting him. He is a big boy and capable of making his own decisions. I am not marrying him to spend the next 50 years telling him what he can and can't do. If he told me I couldn't have or do something I wanted - I'd kick him to the curb - it works both ways!

I agree with everything but the Bachelor/ette parties. That is such a BS line, "if you can't trust him, why the hell are you walking down the aisle" Yeah, I trusted my ex (and this was not why we ended up divorced four years later) and he went to the Mustang Ranch. I'm sorry, but it's 100 percent the truth that when somebody is drunk and/or being egged on by their friends all common sense and thoughts of guilt go right out the window. If you respect and care about your future spouse's feelings, you will not participate in this outdated and stupid last round of "freedom" ride unless you BOTH want it, then that's each individual's business.

I had a nice wedding that cost no more than $5,000.
I picked the wedding cake he picked the grooms cake. My MIL called no shots unless the task was delegated to her. She was in charge of flowers, I just told her what color of roses I wanted in the bouquet. The alterations on my dress cost as much as my dress. My husband went drinking and to a strip club two days b4 ourr wedding and he didnt do anything wrong. A couple should never fight infront of strangers thay includes a wedding planner.

IM IN LOVE WITH THE BEST MAN IN THE WORLD... HES JUST LIKE MY DAD BUT HES MY MAN..

thank you for your article. It gives me some comfort and hope that my brother and his bridezilla wont last. She got 4 out of those 5 so i must be in good shape. I come from a very close family and due to her we haven't seen or spoken to my brother since the wedding. Its been tough but now i see some hope.

Yeah, to the chick whose fiance went to the Mustang Ranch....bad choice of guy, love. Hope you do better the next time around. And it's not true that drunk or egged on common sense or guilt go out the window. I'd bet you dollars to doughnuts you'd have ended up in divorce court over some cheating issue with that one. Be more careful next time.

Big expensive weddings are ridiculous, just like big expensive engagement rings are pathetic. Marriage is about cohabitating with love, honesty and respect. About discussion and comprehension.

If the bride is a control freek about the wedding, chances are she will be a control freek elsewhere. If the groom chooses his mom over his bride, then you know where his priorities lie. That being said, a groom should not have to make a decision like that. If the bride is fiscally irresponsible by spending half your overblown budget on a dress that she will wear once because she is THAT vain, then maybe the groom should be asking questions as finances is why a lot of couples fail. Moreover, if they fight over a silly, stupid, unimportant wedding, then they shouldn't be together. Finally, trust. If a groom cheats before the wedding, his balls should be cut off. However, if the groom feels the need for cheap (or expensive) whores, then he obviously isn't satisfied at home and the bride shouldn't realise this and walk away (with his balls). I am always surprised by the need for a bachelor party with strippers - if I have champagne at home, why would I want dirty dishwater?

I don't think there should be a problem with the guy going to a strip club for his bachelor party. It's not as if he's going to a hotel and ordering some strippers... So, he will get drunk with his friends, get a couple of lapdances, put some money in a girl's g-string, and go home to his wife-to-be. If it were me, I would never ask what happened, but I don't think that a strip-club is demeaning or anything like that, and if the guy goes, that means he doesn't respect women. No, he's a guy, and he likes women and wants to go out with his friends and have a good time. No harm done.

I think the suggestion that the groom's mother should not be involved is insane, and pretty hypocritical. On the one hand, the article is saying that women must respect their husbands-to-be and make them equal partners in the wedding and the marriage (which i agree with), but on the other hand, it's saying to treat their mothers as if they don't matter as much as the bride's mother. it's not a good way to start off with your parents-in-law, and will certainly not form a good relationship with them.

Wow...this must have been written by a Jew. Ok first of all what woman wants her husband to watch women get naked and dance in front of him. This is so low class, my inlaws have been married for 40+ years, and they didn't have a Bachlor/ Bachlorette party, what a stupid argument to say that if a woman doesn't want her husband to have a Bachlor party then their marriage is doomed.

I agree about everything but the bachelor party. For some women its not about whether or not they trust him not to cheat on her, many women believe that strip clubs are demeaning and disrespectful. Not to mention my husband wouldn't want some guys junk in my face...

I see a lot of weddings as a wedding photographer. It can be stressful enough if you don't have a planner but all of the details that go into a wedding can definitely strain a relationship... One thing I always noticed at weddings, is that the more supportive and friendly the family is, the happier the couple seems to be during the entire day! It always makes my job amazingly fun when everyone plays well together.

Craig
http://www.lusterstudios.com

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We had a great wedding, we decided some things together and some things were up to me, and we welcomed his mom's imput, even though she didn't have a lot of opinions. Maybe it was because we were older ( 29 and 30) when we married, but we kept it simple, beautiful, and full of family, not some lavish production. Nine happily married years later, I am glad we concentrated on what mattered most to us.

hey you forgot one, the groom went to Hawaii with 20 strippers and blew the wedding money on a hand of poker baby!

The most beautiful weddings are simple and elegant. Lots of money poured into a tacky wedding doesn't make it less tacky!

why no groom mother? sound utterly sexist

I agree with most of the comments. If I had a couple of thousands dollars I prefer to go with my new husband to an unbelievable trip to Europe instead of expending all that money in one night! Are you crazy? No way,...I will spend whatever money I have for after the wedding. Here is an idea for all you brides...Go with him to a nice gentleman club and enjoy!!!

I think it is BS that the groom's mother should not be involved in the wedding plans. It is her son's wedding too. Even if it goes the more traditional way the groom pays for tux's, rehearsal dinner etc. Of course now days it seems that the grooms family takes on more financial responsibility which is also OK with me. Why shoul it all be centered around the bride only? Yes I am the mother of an only son. but when I was married my mother in law was very much involved and had our reception. I would not have wanted it any other way.