Well I have been a widow for close to 2 years now. My husband was 28 when he died and I was 29. I am so lonely that sometimes I think it's going to swallow me whole. I have 3 kids who are as close to perfect as you can get and I know that when I see them, that is what perfect love is. But when it comes to what I had with my husband, I am so confused as to what love is in that aspect. It seems like we never really had an easy marriage. He had an affair and his daughter was born 6 months after he died. I had some contact with her mother at first but when it turned out she was just after the info to get her part of SSI, I let that go. It hurt too much anyway. I've looked online at different personals sights and have been hit on by all kinds of married men who want to help me with my "needs" and let me tell you, that does not help the situation at all! I have been having so many problems with this lately that I am very depressed about it. I want my happy ending just like in the books! I just don't know how to start over. My kids are going to all be in school for the 1st time this year and I'm going to have some time on my hands. I have been thinking about going back to work, but I haven't worked in almost 6 years now and I am terrified. I am at a cross roads in my life and I just have no idea what to do. If someone has any idea, I would love some advice.
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