Cosmopolitan Is it a homegirl's duty, or totally a pain in the ass? Two writers weigh in.
By Adriana V Lopez, author
Put down that stone, woman. Your cheating friend was tempted by the fruit of another and, like a naughty Eve from earlier times, she took a bite. Now, she's a plain ol' mess; breathless, lying to everyone left and right, and you become her alibi. "Should he ask, she's with you tonight, okay?"
Let's be clear on this. No one actually likes being in this position, especially when you know her significant other. But when it comes to my friends, they can do no wrong, and if it means covering for them during a bumpy time, I'm there. Haven't they been there for me during my own infamous episodes? Yes.
That's why we're still friends. I'm no saint, and thankfully, neither are my girls. Which doesn't imply they're heartless scoundrels either. It means they're in temporary limbo; searching, stumbling, getting up again, and learning from their mistakes. We're all works-in-progress who sometimes need to exorcise some demons in order to get back to Eden. And if she's cheating, it probably means she's unhappy in her relationship.
Related: How to Break It Off
These temporary indiscretions, and your feeling uncomfortable having to lie for her, will pass. She'll eventually wake up and realize that cheating is a lonely path to nowhere. All you can do is be there, offering non-judgmental advice.
By Tanisha Love Ramirez, journalist
We all know that girl code dictates sisters before misters, but are you really keeping your BFF's best interest at heart when you cover for her lying, cheating ways? Think about it.
More often than not, people cheat because they're unhappy in their relationship. If this is the case with your friend, you're not doing her any favors by lying for her. If she asks you to say she was with you, instead of going along, ask her a few questions: What is she getting from her lover that she isn't getting from her man? Is it just sex? Really, what's the deal?
If she admits that her lover is filling a - ahem - void that her significant other isn't, perhaps you should expend your energy helping her figure out how to deal with it.
And let's not forget the sticky predicament that you're in as your friend's partner in crime. Sure, you're not the one having an affair, but in covering for her you're now her accomplice. And what if you don't agree with her cheating lifestyle? It's unfair of her to expect you to corroborate her lies while she's getting a little something on the side. It's hard work remembering so many lies! Her extra piece of ass should not be a pain in yours-and it will be!
Related: You Cheated On Him. Now What?
At the end of the day, remember this: Sisters before misters goes both ways. Make sure you're both putting each other before any "other" mister - or mistress.
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