Just because you're married doesn't preclude a date night. Most couples are busy with work and social and business or community-related activities and obligations; so much of their free time is spoken for, attending to aging parents or assisting grown children, even grandparenting. No wonder the idea of a few hours set aside for themselves to behave like a courting couple can get kicked to the curb. Why do longtime couples need a date night? To reconnect and rekindle intimacy.
While going out to dinner alone or with another couple is fun and friendly, date nights that end in the bedroom should be a goal, at least occasionally. And while everyone loves the idea of spontaneous sex at the end of a date, a degree of planning never hurts and usually results in a better outcome.
Beyond the romantic dinner that ends with you kissing by candlelight, take a hint from the TV show "The Bachelor" and make your date more physical. Men are aroused by action; they really do need to move around. Get your blood moving and stimulate circulation by taking ballroom dancing lessons or learning how to cha-cha. Latin dancing involves a lot of hip movement, which is sexy. Date night doesn't have to be expensive or even occur at night. Your date could happen in broad daylight: take a hike, a bicycle ride, stroll along the river, or picnic in the park.
It's not absolutely necessary to leave the house to have a sexy date night. Thanks to on demand TV and DVR and the miracle of NetFlix, you can order in your favorite Chinese food and curl up together on the couch. The secret to a successful date night is to keep the rest of the world at bay, if only for few hours. The first rule should be that neither of you answer the phone, respond to emails, or discuss anything distressing, i.e. the bills, your mother, or the kids. As for foreplay, a little flirting is ideal. Married couples should flirt with each other. And if you really want to end up with some steamy moments, why not view some of these adult movies that many women enjoy? These films were all produced by Candida Royalle and her company, Femme Productions.
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Eyes of Desire. A woman retreats to her friend's hillside home to rethink her relationship and career. While there, she experiences a sensual awakening after she discovers her friend's high-power telescope which she voyeuristically trains on the neighbors.
Caribbean Heat. In this film, a pair of lovers are lost in the splendor of an untamed world where soft breezes caress the skin. This video features exciting fantasy scenarios that liberate the imagination.
My Surrender. A lonely woman photographer is surrounded by the tender passions of couples who come to her to be filmed as they act out their private fantasies. But because she is fearful of pain and disappointment, she must take a very personal journey to discover real intimacy.
A Taste of Ambrosia. This film is two stories in one. In the first, "The Pick Up," a woman takes a sizzling journey in the company of two strangers. In "Nine Lives Hath My Love," a woman has to choose between her boyfriend…and her cats! Sound familiar? Check it out, it's both hot and hilarious!
Bet it turns out to be a date night you won't forget.
Eve Marx writes frequently about sex for ThirdAge.
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