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    Dating diaries: What do you fake (other than orgasms)?

    Can you believe that I have faked an orgasm before? This is a clear case of the shoe is on the other foot.

    As I was growing up, the older guys told me I better not be a "two-minute" type of guy. It put so much fear into me. The last thing I wanted to do was leave any sexual partner unsatisfied. It immediately turned sex into a pass or fail situation. And, as you can tell from my 2.3 GPA at University of Delaware, I don't do well in a pass/fail situation very often.

    Every time I have sex, I do everything I possibly can to not ejaculate too fast. This usually leads to ejaculation not happening.

    Concentrating on not giving in, letting the mind wander to anything else other than how good the sex might be leads to bad sex. But, what if I let myself realize how good the sex is-I might just ejaculate too fast.

    Trying too hard to ejaculate has a backward effect too. I've tried to concentrate really hard on "letting go" and it hasn't worked. It just adds to the pressure.

    Now, the other end of this is that a girl often gets sore after about 45 minutes. I am no longer a stallion who can go for a long time, I'm just hurting the person. I don't want to be the ride operator who hears the poor kid fly by yelling "stop the ride, stop the ride," but I'm afraid I've been that guy before.

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    I don't think a girl has ever faked an orgasm with me. I usually beat her to it by faking my own. Once the guy orgasms, the fun is always over-which is not really fair to the girl, but I guess that's the way biology wanted it to be.

    Another reason I don't think a girl has ever faked an orgasm with me is because I don't think I've been good enough at sex to warrant that. Can you imagine a person pretending to get shot when there was no gun fire sound? I think any good fake orgasming girl knows where there's smoke there's fire. So, there has to be some evidence there for an orgasm to occur.

    The most common things for a guy to fake are: wealth and confidence.

    The only way I've ever been able to fake confidence is when I just act like I'm not into something. I don't call a girl back or I don't work too hard to get her to do something with me. This is a risky game to play though, because some girls will just get frustrated or confused. Faking confidence turns into game-playing. Also, when someone tries to put on an air of confidence, they come off as overconfident and obnoxious.

    Wealth is not so tough to fake until the credit card runs out. But I've heard of worse methods than credit cards. My friend once went on a date with a guy who was about to take her home to his "pricey Upper West Side" apartment. But, before they got there, he stopped the mission and said:

    "Wait, we can't go to my place. My mom is crashing there tonight."

    Turns out he lived with his mom.

    My friend and I both decided life would be a lot easier for him if he just admitted to living with his mom because an Upper West Side apartment is impressive no matter who you live with.

    Have you ever dealt with guys faking any of these things? For all you orgasm fakers, what's the right amount of time a guy should go before orgasm during sex? What sort of things have you faked in the dating world? Orgasms? Wealth? Confidence? Do they ever figure it out?


    Posted by Rich

    Reprinted with Permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.

     

    35 comments

    • funnygirl36  •  3 years 8 months ago
      you seriously need to relax....take care of your lady first and there will be no problem later. I can't ever remember thinking "OMG that's it....that's all." If you get me off first with foreplay it doesn't matter how long you last my intention is to make you enjoy the ride, afterall it's your turn now. lol
    • Terrie  •  3 years 8 months ago
      this time thing seems to be the problem. Don't focus on the clock and you can focus on the person you are with.
    • **HOLLYHOOD**  •  3 years 8 months ago
      I have never in my sex life faked a orgasm!!! When I get what I want, I do the deal back!!! :)
      If you need to fake an orgasm, then you might not be doing something right.
    • Marty  •  3 years 8 months ago
      If a guy can't tell when a girl actually has an orgasm odds are he probably has never given a girl one. I have faked it after satisfying my partner, mostly for her benefit as not to drag things out too long.
    • "ANG"  •  3 years 8 months ago
      Well I think its a compliment when my BF is done pretty quick. We usually go for a few more rounds so to me it's no problem and i can say we both end up satisfied. BTW there's always oral.
    • WordsRmylife  •  3 years 8 months ago
      Two minutes, three minutes or 45 minutes....the goal is to make it the best damn minutes she has ever experienced in her life!

      ~Latoya~
      www.hollaatyagyrl.com
    • yolie  •  3 years 8 months ago
      I have faked it. Just because I did not want to hurt the guys feelings. Twenty minutes is good for me even thought some guys can go longer. Sometimes 45 minutes is not so bad especially if you use astroglide lubricant and the man you are dealing with is skilled.
    • jules, ( jellybean)  •  3 years 8 months ago
      I agree with funnygirl36. If my man pleasures me first I don't care how fast he is. I've read that most women have a hard time orgasming without clitorial stimulation first anyway. Women like oral too. lol I also told my man that I wouldn't lie to him if I didn't come, we'll just figure somthing else out. And I don't think there's anything wrong with telling a man that they didn't pleasure you all women are different and if you tackfully tell them how you like it, it could be more enjoyable for both of you.
    • Lee  •  3 years 8 months ago
      I can't understand how no one ever noticed that you faked it! On one ocassion, my husband and I were having sex..he had been drinking, it was a hot night, etc...and it seemed like it was never going to end! Finally, he had finished...but he hadn't!!!! I think he would have liked me to think that...but I was able to tell...no thrust, no bust! I called him on it and he felt it had gone on too long, so 'for me', he faked it...he has never done that again!
    • Peaches  •  3 years 8 months ago
      My fiance has similar problems, he get to wrapped up in giving me pleasure that he can't orgasm, but the key is he is still enjoying himself. The best part is after hes made me have my orgasm I get to either watch him masturbate or I help him along in other ways. Sex isn't a rush job, just learn to relax and switch it up, do you really need to have penetration for 45 minutes or can you do 20 minutes and then tweenplay and then more penetration. The key is not to finish the race but to enjoy the game.
    • princess  •  3 years 8 months ago
      I've faked ALOT of orgasms! I don't think I've been with a guy who has faked one, though. I mean a female can tell, right, ya know, the "stuff" down there. If a guy can give me at least 20 minutes of mind blowing sex before he cums, then I'm happy. Any earlier than that, and I'm pissed!
    • Trinita  •  3 years 8 months ago
      how is it possible for a man to fake an orgasm? Isn't something supposed to come out? Lol. I think a man should go at least 30 minutes before ejaculation. No less. The woman needs to orgasm first always.
    • Rowdygirl  •  3 years 8 months ago
      If all this is really true, I'm surprised you're ever in bed with a woman. Of course, you didn't say anything about repeat performances, so that answers the question right there.
    • coolgal18  •  3 years 8 months ago
      i dont THINK i've ever had sex with a guy who faked it.. theyr just simply said i can't or i'm not going to be able to..
      there was one guy recently though, who was not giving up, and it was to the point where i just hoped he would fake it and get over it cos i was in pain..
      i think that's the most times a guy has flipped me over in 50 million positions in one session. if he weren't completely nice to look at, i would have just pushed him off and gone home.
      what can i say? i love a guy with tattoos.
    • A Yahoo! User  •  3 years 8 months ago
      whenever we make sex i'd simply pretending got orgasm to make me too long before ejaculating and explosively satisfy my partner.
    • still smiling  •  3 years 8 months ago
      I have never faked an orgasm, and I know that they (the guys) have to know the difference between real and fake ones??? It's a powerful force! I don't mind 10 minutes, or 5 minutes, if they are ready to go again!

      I have had the experience of a guy having to much stress or pressure and not being able to finish. We just stopped, he couldn't seal the deal, I already had had several orgasms.

      I think that this must indicate some relationship problems, whether you are dating, or especially in a marriage. Tough times are ahead...........
    • codeman_gt  •  3 years 8 months ago
      I always go down on my girl before sex. Apparently I'm pretty skillful at it. She says it's the best she's ever had. It completely turns me on to get her off like that so it works out perfectly. If you don't know how to do it, or what she likes, just ask her. The first time I tried it, I was terrible apparently. Then she pointed a few things out to me and now I know exactly how she likes it and we do it every night. One night I got her off 4 times (which is a record for her)!

      She's never had an orgasm during sex, but she comes really close. I can tell because of how it feels. I would definitely know if she were faking it. I myself faked it a couple of times with her. She was really drunk and begging for it. We did it multiple times and finally I got so worn out I couldn't go anymore. She completely believed that I had gotten off until a little while later when nothing was coming out of her like it normally does. Lesson learned, if I get tired, just admit it. Guys can fake it and it only makes her mad when she finds out I tried to.
    • Missy 907  •  3 years 8 months ago
      I've faked so many orgasms until i can't even remember.. it's hard to find a man to satisfy me.. i don't mean to do it , but it just comes so natural for me .. the guys i've dated have been really good in bed, but they couldn't make me have an orgasms, hell maybe there's something wrong with me ????? i guess i'll probaly continue doing that until Mr. Perfect/Orgasms making man comes along .!!!!!!!!!!!!
    • Sweets  •  3 years 8 months ago
      I'm still trying to figure out how a guy can fake an orgasm.
    • amandak  •  3 years 8 months ago
      I know that I want to satisfy my partner as much as he wants to satisfy me. So with that said do you think that you are taking some of her pleasure away when you fake. Just relax and have a good time, that is what matters

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