Get Your Aggression Out!
Posted by Kelli Cooper for BounceBack.com
I do not think anyone is immune from having bad moods. I know I have had my fair share! Some of these moods are more intense than others. You may feel like punching someone or something. It can be pretty intense. You may want to slap people around simply because they are in a good mood. Everything and everyone around you irritates you to no end.
Days like these are no picnic, that is for sure. But they present us with a great learning opportunity. I would like to offer some advice on how I handle these days and hopefully it will help you navigate them a little better.
Know This Too Shall Pass
On an intellectual level, we know that no mood lasts forever, that our feelings are in constant flux. But in the thick of these bad moments, we often lose sight of this. We are consumed by the feelings and in that moment, on some level, we think we are going to feel like this forever. We will not of course.
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When we remember this and really let it permeate our consciousness, it becomes much easier to sit with all this junk because we know it is only temporary. By tomorrow or even a few hours from now, we will likely feel much better. The intensity will lessen. That layer of emotional upset that results from being upset that we are upset lightens up a bit, it will not be as thick.
If you are like me and are making a conscious effort to become a better person, you likely are way too hard on yourself when you have your slip-ups. On some level, we think we will become these perfect people who are never upset, never lose their cool and never feel negative feelings. I wish.
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These high expectations often lead us to unnecessarily beat ourselves up about our imperfections and when we are having these types of days, we feel even worse because we think we are failing, that we are not progressing. Once I lightened up on myself, I found these moods much easier to deal with because I was not resisting them as much. They just are what they are and I do the best I can to feel better.
Question and Observe
A lot of the time we are operating on auto-pilot, just reacting to everything around us. Our thoughts are running wild. We never take the time to think about why we are thinking what we are thinking and feeling what we are feeling. When we take the time to do this, we can get to the root of our issues. Often times, what triggers our foul moods are just the tip of the iceberg and representative of much larger issues.
When you find yourself in one of these states, start to question and observe. You may not prevent yourself from ever being in a bad mood again or magically fix a deep- seated issue in an hour, but as you begin to become more aware of your thoughts, feelings and behaviors, you will handle these difficult times better and likely shorten their duration.
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Kelli Cooper is a freelance writer who runs the personal development blog Life Made to Order . She is also the author of Passing on Parenthood: A Childfree Woman Speaks Out .She has a passion for personal development and sharing what she has learned in her own journey to help others improve their lives as well.