Deal Breaker: Relationship Breaker?
By Alex Johnson for BounceBack.com
Deal breakers. We implement these "deal breakers" when we are contemplating on buying a house, a car, or even choosing what restaurant to go to. However, when it comes to relationship "deal breakers" when do they break the relationship?
When we are single, and in the dating world, most people tend to have a set of ideals that they are looking for in someone. For some, it might be that the man has to make a certain amount of money or the woman has to have a certain bra size. You can even go into the gay world and some guys won't even consider dating a guy unless he is sporting a six-pack. Whatever the case may be, we all know that you are not going to get everything on your wish list. And once you begin to date someone and the relationship begins to develop, we all must learn the art of compromise.
Related: Complement or Compromise: Does Your Partner Really Complete You?
However, with the art of compromise there can be a lot of resentment on each person involved. We should watch ourselves and figure out when we are compromising and when we are nagging. Nagging can become the beginning of driving anybody out the door. If every single day you are being talked to like a child eventually that child is going to want to fly the coop. It is probably a good idea that before the "L" word is ever used in the relationship, to actually take the time to sit back, review your list of deal breakers and determine for yourself what is realistic and what is fantasy.
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It would certainly be best to figure out from someone if having children in the future is something you both want before you find out five years down the road that while you want children, your partner simply does not. Or in some cases finding out that your loved one doesn't actually believe in the principles of monogamy and you do. If your relationship is solid and the communication skills are in practice, having the discussion about what your deal breakers are might not be so bad. Heck, you can even make it a light hearted activity for the both of you. Of course, with that conversation you must be realistic and brace yourself that your partner might not want you have. Again, better to know now than wasting any significant amount of time not knowing.
Related: Brace Yourself
As we continue to grow wiser beyond our years and we continue to learn from our past relationships, the best thing to always do is have the conversation first with yourself about your deal breakers and than determine if the deal breakers you chose to live with will eventually break the relationship.
Alex Johnson is a freelance writer and is currently living in New York City. Follow his blog about love, dating and all in between at: www.updatenyc.net
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