Photo: Anthony Lee/Getty Images
By Debbie Lamedman
When you're dating online, you never know to whom you're talking. It's a voice in the dark. All you see is someone's profile and a picture, and if you contact them and there's no response, you move on. It's a rejection, but there's no reason to take it personally. How can you when the person you've attempted to contact doesn't even know you? Well, that's easier said than done.
Britney Spears recently got engaged again, this time to Jason Trawick. You can bet that she dealt with rejection upon the termination of all of her previous relationships, but she is persevering. People get rejected right and left, especially when they date online. If you start to let it get to you, it will take a toll. It becomes more difficult when you've actually made contact with the person and suddenly that contact between you ceases. This happens often, and there is logical reason for it. You can make up stories about why the person stopped returning your emails after many lively conversations, but you will never know the real reason unless they reappear in your inbox. You never know what's going on in someone else's life, and you never know what someone's motivation is for starting to date online. That said, there are definitely ways to deal with rejection.
Unfortunately, we saw Spears' downfall and witnessed her reactions to rejection from many people in her life. To avoid crashing into depression, you must learn to maintain a certain level of detachment while your online relationship evolves. This may sound harsh, but people take off as often as they stick around, so protect yourself, your heart and your self-esteem.
No one likes feeling rejected. If you've never met your date in person, you can't take their rejection personally. Unfortunately, people tend to judge others for the smallest things. If it was something about the way you looked in your photo, or something you said in your profile that turned the other person off, so be it. You can't please everyone.
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Take online dating rejection lightly, and move on. After all, there are plenty more matches where they came from. People you meet online will fall by the wayside, leaving you with the room and opportunity to meet quality people who deserve your time and attention. If you've met your online date in person and things don't work out, there's no reason to take that to heart either. Just go back online, and keep hunting!
Debbie is a writer for datingsite.org.