By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK
DEAR WHYS GUY:
Is it really possible for a guy to be best friends with a girl? I've been dating a guy for several months now and we live together with 3 other roommates in a big house. One of those roommates happens to be his best friend, a girl he's lived with before. They both claim that they've never been anything more than friends, have never even kissed I have nothing against her; we get along fine. But the way they act around each other is unlike any guy-girl friendship I've ever seen.
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He calls her "baby" and other pet names, and comments on how "cute" and "amazing" she looks in her bikini. I've been honest with both of them about how I feel about their friendship. I'm just wondering if I'm the idiot here for being blind to something that's actually there, or if I'm really just getting worked up over nothing. Help!
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DEAR REDBOOK READER:
Uhhh... Yeah, judging from what you've written, there is a problem here, or at least a potential problem. Guys and girls can most definitely just be friends, but those platonic friendships don't usually include bikini body compliments. Real platonic friendships between guys and girls don't look that different from guys friendships with guys: Girls tell their girlfriends that they look "amazing" in bikinis to be supportive, but guys don't do that, even with their girlfriends. Guys often show their appreciation for their friends by ripping on them. For instance: "You look like a very old man in that bathing suit, you should eat a vegetable every once and a while," or simply, "You look disgusting in that." Also guys don't use cutesy pet names with people they don't want to sleep with. My forecast is sexual attraction between roommates with a chance of a drunken hook-up sometime while the two of you are fighting, so don't forget to bring your umbrella.
Need help decoding odd male behavior? Redbook columnist Aaron Traister, who lives in Philadelphia with his wife and two kids, is our resident male who is happy to answer any questions you might have about the mind of a man. Either leave your questions in the comments or email him at firstname.lastname@example.org with Whys Guy in the subject. Letters, emails, and comments may be edited for clarity and length.
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