I am 32 and have been married for six years. My husband and I have three kids together and two from previous marriages. I feel like I'm always changing to show him how much I love him, and never quite meeting the mark. He always jokes about me having hidden boyfriends, which is really annoying and also reinforces the feeling that I don't measure up. Can you please enlighten me as to why he does this?
DEAR REDBOOK READER:
It sounds like your husband is worried he's "fighting above his weight," which means that he's worried that you're too good for him, and that you'll realize that one day and run off with one of your "hidden boyfriends." In short, he's insecure, so he makes jokes and tests you to soothe his own jangled nerves. The irony is that he's making you feel like crap. I wish I had a quick fix for you, but I don't. Keep talking and be honest with him about how his hang ups are giving you issues. And remember, it might be better to be on your own than with someone who makes you feel terrible about yourself.
Need help decoding odd male behavior? Redbook columnist Aaron Traister, who lives in Philadelphia with his wife and two kids, is our resident male who is happy to answer any questions you might have about the mind of a man. Either leave your questions in the comments or email him at firstname.lastname@example.org Whys Guy in the subject. Letters, emails, and comments may be edited for clarity and length.
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