By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK
DEAR WHYS GUY: I recently went to a concert with a group of friends. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that my ex-husband was there, too. The concert was general admission, so there were no assigned seats. I decided that I was going to have a good time, even though he was there- I had gone shopping for new clothes, had my hair cut and styled, and even got a mani pedi for the show. I didn't turn around for the rest of the evening, and focused on the band and my friends. When I noticed my ex, he was at the back of the venue. As the concert progressed, he got closer and closer, until my friends told me he was right behind me. He made a point to talk to the group I was with, which made everyone uncomfortable. He also made a point of dancing with other women right behind me. Why did he do this? He left me, cheated on me, and told everyone I was mentally and emotional abusive, which isn't true. His shenanigans did was remind me what a jerk he is, but what was he trying to do or prove?
DEAR REDBOOK READER:
I have some guesses. Maybe he was trying to prove to you that he's moved on but doing a poor job of it. Maybe he was poking at you and trying to annoy you by talking to your friends. Maybe he was trying to make you jealous. Maybe he was trying to win you back somehow. Who knows? But more importantly, who cares? Your relationship is over. He won't just disappear off the face of the earth, and when you do accidentally run into him, he can do whatever he wants. If you bump into him at the Cracker Barrel, he can strip naked, smear himself in maple syrup, and start doing an interpretive dance to Rebecca Black's "Friday," and it still wouldn't, or shouldn't, matter to you, because he's not a part of your life anymore. Roll your eyes, giggle at him with one of your friends, wonder what you ever saw in him, and then let it go quickly. Ultimately, whatever his intentions were on the night of the concert, he got your full attention and messed up your Justin Bieber experience, which ultimately says a lot more about what's going on in your head than it does about what's going on in his. Breaking up, especially divorcing, is never easy. But it will get so much better the sooner you can stop worrying about what he's doing and start solely focusing on what you're doing.
Need help decoding odd male behavior? Redbook columnist Aaron Traister, who lives in Philadelphia with his wife and two kids, is our resident male who is happy to answer any questions you might have about the mind of a man. Either leave your questions in the comments or email him at firstname.lastname@example.org Whys Guy in the subject. Letters, emails, and comments may be edited for clarity and length.
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