Definition of Commitment
I have to say, I am not sure what the definition of commitment is. I've looked it up:
(Yahoo Education- dictionary)
- The act or an instance of committing, especially:
- The act of referring a legislative bill to committee.
- Official consignment, as to a prison or mental health facility.
- A court order authorizing consignment to a prison.
- A pledge to do.
- Something pledged, especially an engagement by contract involving financial obligation.
- The state of being bound emotionally or intellectually to a course of action or to another person or persons: a deep commitment to liberal policies; a profound
~commitment to the family.
Now, to apply this to my relationships in life. Hmmm? I'm not really obligated to any court order, nor have I or anyone in my life been consigned to prison or a mental health facility, although I do have my private opinions of some family members and friends about weather they should be or not.
I haven't "pledged" anything to anyone. I am obligated to my children and feel it is my responsibility to them and society to bring up the best human beings I can. I love them, and yes I am committed in this sense to be the best parent I can be. But, this type of commitment does not include the same type of commitment I would give to a lover, friend, or husband, and to be able to keep this "commitment", promise, obligation, pledge, to this friend, lover, or husband.
I guess what I am contemplating is, how far should we go to keep these commitments? Do they really mean much of anything anymore? Why should I trust what another person pledges to me, (for promises are broken every day)? And does the definition of the word its self make a difference in the words spoken to me?
I have see and lived commitment issues. I know we are as good as our word. I know people make mistakes, give into lust, infidelity, and say things about our friends that will later bite us on the ass. It's all in our nature.
But, where should the line be drawn? When are we all as a society going to stop hurting one another? We are teaching our children that the definition of commitment should only apply in the court room, on some legal document (and even those can be broken, can we say divorce?) or if we are mentally ill, or have committed a crime. Even I have applied this to my very own parenting style, since I too am divorced.
So when is it okay to relinquish on a commitment, break a promise, be unobligated, or unpledged a pledge? When is it okay to go back on our word? Is it the quality of the said above, or the importance of the verse? What words should be kept, and which ones are okay to break?
The confusion is just this, a lot of crap feed to us through experiences in life. Take the crap out and define action. The action causes reactions. The reactions are what they are for what ever excuses and reasoning (definitions) we give them.
The reason for this entire mumble jumble is...¦ I have had to explain to my, now older children, as to why I left their father. I have come up with factual information, emotional reasoning, and finally, the truth. They both feel that there really isn't any reason (or safe) to trust a lover, friend, and husband/wife. People make decisions based on their own needs. There for we can not trust others to keep their words.