By Malia Karlinsky, GalTime Love/Sex Editor
The Dictionary of Men
Have you ever met a guy and instantly realized you've dated him before... even though you technically haven't? Authors Maria Blanco and Jane Black have taken some of the guesswork out of-- and put some humor into-- the dating process by categorizing some common types of men in their book, "Dictionary of Men." This is NOT a book that bashes men. It's more like a guide that gives descriptions of different types of guys.
Gathering info from women out there in the dating trenches, "Dictionary of Men" includes over 300, short satirical dictionary-like definitions and tons of illustrations.
GalTime: How do you classify men?
Maria Blanco and Jane Black: Based on characteristics that women actually talk about like hometown, alma mater, relationship with their mother, car they drive, shoes, style of underwear, cocktail of choice, etc. You can tell a lot about a man's personality and how your relationship will evolve based on simple categorizations. If a man owns a cat (Cat Owner), he's most likely passive-aggressive and anal. We didn't make these definitions up-- we interviewed hundreds of women to get their take on what it was like to date every man we defined. This was the absolutely most fun book to write. We loved hearing other women's stories.
GT: Do you have a "Favorite" type?
Maria: Frank the Fireman -- every woman likes to play with fire at some point in her life. But my favorite read is High Maintenance Hayden.
Jane: My favorite TRUE dating story in the book is Douchebag Dave (pictured at left)-- it just makes me laugh. Dave hails from San Francisco and he fits the description of a DB to a tee. I still laugh out loud when reading the story and looking at his illustration. Dan the Dave Matthews Groupie also makes me laugh because it conjures up such a funny person if you know a guy 40+, or any guy for that matter, who is still obsessed with the Dave Matthews Band ... then you'll know what I'm talking about.
GT: When you meet a guy now... do you immediately classify him in your head?
Maria: Absolutely. It's addicting, you can't get it out of your head. I do it the most when I'm driving in the car. For instance, when I see someone driving a Jeep I always think, this guy looks hot from far away-- but won't be so good up close. A Jeep always makes guys hotter than they really are! We also define the difference between a 3, 5 and 7-series BMW driver, and those defs always prove to be spot on too. For example, when I see the 7-series guy, I think yep, he's probably cheating on his wife.
Related: 5 Signs He's Cheating
GT: What has been the male reaction to the book?
Jane: A man's reaction to the book is the ultimate litmus test. If a man has an adverse reaction to the book, run.... he clearly sees himself and his buddies in the book. If he likes the book, or finds it funny, hold onto him tightly, he's very well adjusted. Overall, most men find it funny and want to know if they're in it-- plus, they find our definitions to be pretty spot on.
GT: There's a lot of humor in this book-- do we need to laugh our way through dating... because otherwise we'd cry?
Maria: Laughter is the key to the dating process. Laughing through the process will make you a magnet for the right man. Plus, we think everyone is a little "self-helped" out. While eating, praying and loving might work for some, a good belly laugh is the universal remedy to cure the broken heart and regain mojo. After all, laughter is the best medicine and women enjoy sharing in each other's funny experiences.
10 Men to Fling This Spring from the "Dictionary of Men"
1. Frat Boy Fletch: He was president of his college fraternity and took his job very seriously when he was there, but even more seriously after he graduated. He's over 26, yet still lives with four of his frat brothers from college. A glorified party planner who thrives on attention, his idea of a romantic night out is a beer pong or flip cup tournament with you and his friends.
2. Construction Worker Chuck: Cleans up well ... rugged in all the right ways. A bit of brute, who knew how to treat a lady right. Dating attire: baseball cap, dress shirt, Guess jeans that had been out of style for nearly a decade, and of course, work boots. He can fix anything around the house but has trouble fixing his bad behaviors, which can be as destructive as taking a wrecking ball to the relationship .
3. Douchebag Dave: Texts his date from her driveway to announce his arrival. Drives a baby blue Audi TT convertible around the Marina district of San Francisco. His first date rule: "Don't ask me about my past relationships and I won't ask about any of yours."
4. High-Maintenance Hayden: A private equity wiz with the charm of a Southern gentleman. Monitors his girlfriend's calorie intake during dinner. Frequents the Carlyle Hotel in NYC and is frowns upon getting your dinner leftovers wrapped up "to-go."
5. Issac the Investment Banker: Treats a relationship as he would a client: outings to the most chic, popular restaurants; excursions to exotic paradises; beautiful, outrageous gifts, and weekend-long parties that could rival those seen in the movie Animal House. Investment bankers are also good at hedging their bets until something better comes along.
6. Leo the Labrador Lover: Pays more attention to his chocolate lab than his girlfriend. Even feeds him better. Lives in Boulder, CO.
7. Marco the Mama's Boy (pictured at left): Started living with his mom after having her serve his divorce papers.
8. Shane the Southern Baptist: Uses God as an excuse to break up with his girlfriend. Lives the life of "do what feels good now, ask for forgiveness later," somewhere in Little Rock.
9. Todd the Texter: He never calls, just texts things like "yo girly. feel like a bus hit me. we were ovrpoured. c ya l8r?" you question if he can spell.
10. Weedsmoker Will: Practices yoga, takes you on camping trips, and enjoys the simpler things in life. He also enjoys a quick bong hit before work in the morning. Asked his girlfriend to lend him money to buy the Volkswagen Vanagon he's always wanted.
Have you dated any of the guys above? What's your least favorite? Got any others? What's your FAVORITE type of guy? We'll be posting another article soon on all the great go-to types of guys. Stay tuned for that!For more info about authors Maria Blanco and Jane Black and Dictionary of Men, visit the official Dictionary of Men website.
More from GalTime:
- Our Secret Regrets About Relationships and the One Who Got Away
- 4 Biggest Mistakes Men Make in Bed
- 4 Ways to Tell If He's "The One"
- Fishing For Mr Right-- The Types of Guys to Throw Back