Make the Next First Date Your Last
By Alex Johnson for BounceBack.com
The first date. With all the different ways today that people are meeting each other and how cynical we have become to the ideas of dating itself, there is still that excitement we get with the first date. Still hopeful that THIS particular date will be THE date to end all dates for the remaining time of our dating careers.
However, there still needs to be some strategy behind this critical date, in order to book that second date, the third and so on and so forth. Below is a few brief DO's and DON'T's for that first meeting:
1. Dress for Success: They say in the work force that if you want the part then you must dress the part. The same goes for dating. If you want to appear a certain way, whether that is showing your true colors, your professional side or even your naughty side. First impressions are key. So, put your best shoe forward and dress for the job of a lifetime.
Related: Not Sure What To Wear? 5 Easy Tips for Dressing for the First Date
2. Ask: Conversation is crucial, especially on the first meeting. Aside from the physical attraction, the art of conversation is a very important piece of the dating puzzle. Ask the questions you want the answers to. Not questions like, "Do you believe in marriage?" Rather questions about his or her ambitions, family/friends, their likes/dislikes. That way, hopefully, you both will have similar interests or at least a common ground.
3. Mystery: It has been said that men are the hunters and women are the gathers. I tend to believe that we are all about "the hunt." We are both chasing after that great first date that will lead then lead to something promising. Like any well- trained hunter, it is the chase that keeps them coming back to hunt for more not the actual catch. Apply it to the first date. Be in the forest hunting but don't put yourself out in the target zone or else you will get shot!
Related: He's Just Not That Into You...Or Is He?
4. Follow-Up: The next step after any successful job interview will be to contact your potential future employer, thanking them for taking the time to meet with you and if they should require or seek an additional meeting to please contact you. Apply this simple interview rule to your dating. If you want the job, you have to fight for the job.
And now for the other side...
1. No devices: A very simple etiquette rule. Before you enter the place or establishment where you are to meet, put the phone in your pocket, your purse or wherever you need to store it. All technology must not be visible. You are there to get to know someone - not text, email, call or even tweet. Out of sight and out of mind. Focus on the person across from you.
2. Tardiness: Unfortunately, I am a big offender of this one. It is about being on time. I understand that there are some things we simply can't control such as a late train, traffic or even that last minute item that needs to get completed at the office. However, we do have the responsibility to contact the date if you are running a few minutes late. Never leave someone cooling their heels for you or else you just mind find yourself watching them walk-away as soon as you walk-in. Have respect for other people's time.
3. Revealing too much: It is so easy to get caught up in the moment, especially when the conversation is flowing so successfully. Just do your best to not reveal too much too fast. No one needs to know on the first date of your rock collection you hide under your bed or the fact that you have webbed feet. Less is more, especially on the first meeting.
Related: Are You Dating an Ex-Collector?
4. Lying: Haven't we learned from dirty politicians, sneaky celebrities and even from our own experiences? Lying gets us nowhere and eventually at one point during our lives, we are going to get caught. So to avoid that awfully uncomfortable situation where you have to confess to your actions, just don't lie in the first place for it will come back to bite you when you least expect it.
Related: The Upside of a Bad Date
Lastly, on any first date, be excited! Go in with low expectations and be yourself because there are still great people out there for the taking. And maybe…just maybe... it could be your LAST first date you will ever have to go on and the road to that second date will not be far away!
Alex Johnson is a freelance writer and is currently living in New York City. Follow his blog about love, dating and all in between at: www.updatenyc.net
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