by Gena Kaufman
Getty Images Welcome to 2014, Smitten readers! Today's the day we all nurse our hangovers and make grand resolutions to lose weight, save money, and learn to speak Italian. Tomorrow's the day we all immediately fall back into old habits and forget all about our lofty goals.
Resolutions can be a good way to start new habits, but they're never going to work if they're unrealistic or unhealthy. And, yes, that goes for your love life, too. If you're setting goals for the new year where romance is concerned, here are some Dos and Don'ts guidelines for how you should be making them.
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Don't: Resolve to find a boyfriend by spring. While it's fine to want to find that special guy, it's not something you can necessarily do on a particular timeline, and it doesn't need to be your main goal in life.
Do: Resolve to be more proactive about meeting people. Join a weekly bowling league or ask your friends to set you up. This way, you can feel like you're taking control of your social life, and you're practically guaranteed to have fun, which is really the ultimate goal.
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Don't: Resolve to get your ex-boyfriend back. Just don't.
Do: Resolve to take action to move on with your life. If you're struggling with a breakup, promise yourself that you'll take healthy action to get yourself back to a happy place. Book yourself a solo vacation, take up a new hobby, or even find yourself a therapist to work with for a while if you need it.
Don't: Resolve to be the perfect girlfriend. Maybe things have been rocky in your relationship, or you're hoping he'll want to take things to a more serious place, but don't try to put unrealistic expectations on yourself to fix things or prove to him this is right.
Do: Resolve to be more honest. Talk more openly with your guy about your relationship, and be honest with each other about where it's going. You'll both be happier in the long run.