The Frightening History of Birth Control Methods

ShutterstockI have an IUD set to "expire" this October. I can hardly believe it's been almost five years since I debated the pros and cons of Mirena at my 6 week postpartum appointment.

For five years I haven't given birth control a second thought. As my "baby" begins kindergarten and I turn 36-years-old next week, I realize I need to make a decision regarding birth control pretty damn soon; stupid aging eggs.

The decision to jump back on the IUD bandwagon would be an easy one. I'd make an appointment, groom my nether regions, put my feet in stirrups, wince, pop a few ibuprofen and be done for another five years. Birth control is all too easy and for that I'm all too grateful.

How lucky we are to live in the age of modern birth control. Women for centuries and even decades before us haven't had the safe options and ease of accessibility to birth control that we have. Let's take a look at how far birth control methods have come!

Related: 10 gross things I never thought I'd let my husband see me do...until now

Let's start with the pessary, or in layman's terms, a thing inserted into the vagina that's held in place by pelvic floor muscles. The following pessaries were once thought to prevent pregnancy:

1. Ancient Egyptians
Egyptians used two pessary methods: one being dried crocodile dung, while the other included a mixture of acacia gum, dates, an unidentified plant, fiber, and honey.

2. Ancient Greeks
The ancient Greek were partial to cat testicle pessaries.

3. Medieval Europeans
Lemon-soaked sponges were the method of choice for this group.

4. Middle Ages
Women in 11th century Persia inserted tar or elephant dung into their vaginas post-intercourse.

Related: 10 sex questions from seventh graders that even adults can't answer

Moving on to condom-ish type contraptions and other stuffs applied to male genitalia as a form of birth control:

5. Japan
From the 12th to 14th centuries, the Japanese used condoms made from tortoise shell or horn.

6. Imperial Rome
The Romans made their condoms from a goat's bladder.

Ladies, let's just take a moment and console our collective vaginas. There, there little glitters; there, there. And to think today we spend time worrying about things like pH balance…

This brings us to what ladies used to eat, drink, douche with, and wear to prevent unwanted pregnancy:

7. Medieval Europe
Medieval European women were told to drink sheep urine or rabbit blood.

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8. Ancient Africa
Ancient African women thought drinking the froth from a camel's mouth would protect them from pregnancy.

9. Elizabethan England
The country recommended a numbing genital bath of cold water or a mixture of ginger and vinegar.

10. United States
Coca-Cola was once thought to be a most excellent spermicide by Americans in the 1950s and 60s, so why not douche with it? And Coke-douche they did. My vagina has no words.

OK, they're all scary. Which birth control method freaked you out the most?

- By Lori Garcia
Follow Lori at Babble

For 3 more frightening methods of birth control, visit Babble!

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