EVERYDAY LIVING

WOW... REALLY ? AM I DOING THIS? LOL...I GUESS...BUT WAT CAN I SAY... IM LIVING ON SSI....IM TEMPERALY STAYING WITH A FRIEND UNTIL MY APARTMENT COMES OPEN... BROKE UP WITH MY GUY, THAT IM STARTING TO THINK I REALLY AM IN LOVE WITH.. I THINK AFTER FINDING OUT FROM HIS SISTER ABOUT HIS DRUG HABIT/STRUGGLE I STARTED TO SEE MORE WHY EVERYTHING WITH US FELL APART..EVEN THOUGH HE WANTED TO BLAME ME FOR ALL THE ARGUMENTS...WHICH IM NOT ALTOGETHER SURE I EVEN STARTED..BUT I DONT KNOW..A FEW MAYBE JUST SO HE WOULD LEAVE FOR A FEW HOURS..I SIT HERE DAY IN AND DAY OUT AND EVEN THOUGH HE DID SOME CRAZY STUFF...ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS THE GOOD THINGS ABOUT HIM... HE MADE ME LAUGH...I REALLY DO BELIEVE THE FIVE FOOT FOUR INCH 130 LBS EX GANG BANGER LOVED ME...I DO KNOW I WISH MORE THEN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD I KNEW WHERE HE WAS.. AFTER I LEFT OHIO HE CALLED ME LATER THAT NIGHT TO TELL ME HE AND A FRIEND OF OURS WAS GOING OUT AND HE WOULD CALL ME THE NEXT MORNING AND I KNOW HE HAD A PHONE BECAUSE I GAVE HIM MY GOVERMENT PHONE AND USED HIS DEBIT CARD TO PUT UNLIMITED CALLING AND TEXTING ON IT FOR HIM... BUT I NEVER HEARD FROM HIM.. NOBODY HAS.. AND I LEFT IN AUG 28TH, 2012....HIS COUSIN BROUGHT ME BACK TO ILLINOIS AND BEING THE PERSON I AM I INVITED HIM TO AT LEAST STAY FOR DINNER AND GET A ROOM AT THE MOTEL FOR THE NIGHT.. BUT HE WENT BACK AND TOLD BOBBY THAT IF HE WANTED HE COULD HAVE FUCKED ME...HE GOT LIFE ALL FUCKED UP... BOBBY OF ALL PPL KNOW IM NOT THAT TYPE... AFTER THE THINGS HE TOLD ME ABOUT CUZZO, THERE WOULD BE NO WAY ON THIS GREEN EARTH I WOULD FUCK HIM... ANYWAY.....
BUT ANYWAY.... I HOPE ONE DAY WE WILL FIND HIM AND HE SEES THE FACEBOOK PAGE I MADE IN HIS NAME, EVEN THOUGH I WENT THRU A FEW THINGS WITH HIS FAMILY, I THINK THEY NOW KNOW WHY I MADE IT... I POST ON IT ALL THE TIME... I DO MISS HIM...I DO WORRY ABOUT HIM.. AN MOST OF ALL I DO LOVE HIM....I CANT STOP DOING WAT IM DOING TO LOOK FOR HIM AS MUCH AS I WANT TO... I JUST HOPE HE DECIDES TO CALL AND AT LEAST TELL ME HE IS OK.. I UNDERSTAND CRACK IS AN ADDICTIVE DRUG.. AND I UNDERSTAND NOW HOW IT ALL FELL APART... AND HOW HARD HE HAS STRUGGLED WITH THIS FOR MANY YRS BUT HE SHOULD HAVE TRUSTED ME ENOUGH TO LET ME KNOW THESE THINGS..NOT MAKE ME LIVE THRU THE THINGS I DID WONDERING WAT THE HELL IM DOING WRONG....
BOBBY MILLER, I DO LOVE U WITH ALL MY HEART.. I MISS U MORE THEN U REALIZE...