By Janet Manley for HowAboutWe
Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back - No sex on the first date.
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi - No handjobs on the first date.
Blade Runner - No lubricated handjobs on the first date.
Dangerous Liaisons - No self-esteem on the first date.
Plus: 6 Surprisingly Astute Love Tips From American Pie
Dark Crystal - You've canceled a date to stay in and build leggo.
The Last Unicorn - You've canceled a date to write leggo fan-fic.
The Man From Snowy River - You don't mind a good whipping.
The Karate Kid - You wax off, whack off.
The Neverending Story - You're going to marry a beloved childhood friend. In a skimpy suede vest and chaps.
BMX Bandits - You're not afraid to get down and dirty, or rock a perm.
Plus: 25 Rom Coms for 25 Relationship Stages
Dirty Dancing - You're not afraid of a man in a leotard.
Driving Miss Daisy - You're not afraid of old man butt.
Labyrinth - Find your way to the codpiece by midnight, or lose your baby brother forever.
My Little Pony: The Movie - You have a ConAir vibrator.
The Care Bears Adventure in Wonderland - Rainbows are fun to slide down.
The Land Before Time - The last time you had sex, people were still cracking floppy disc jokes.
Sixteen Candles - Statutory rape is funny until it gets you banned from Cinnabon nationwide.
Ghostbusters - Men in uniforms get your ectoplasm hot.
Annie - You'll find "the one" tomorrow.
Rocky III - THERE IS NO TOMORROW! THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
The Goonies - The treasure lies just beyond your awkward teenage years.
Plus: 5 Inappropriate Crushes We're Totally Cool With
Twins - You're a hopeless romantic who believes there's a Danny Devito doppleganger out there for everyone.
Uncle Buck - The morning after, you like to get PANCAKES.
Honey I Shrunk the Kids - Size doesn't matter, it's what you do with your Moranis that counts.
E.T. The Extra Terrestrial - You're not worried about interplanetary/venereal contagion.
Raiders of the Lost Ark - To the ends of the Earth, you'll find the G-spot.
Amadeus - You've been a dating pro since you were five.
Platoon - DON'T MIND THE 100 HELICOPTERS.
Blade Runner - You're not on a date, your neurons are just being commandeered by someone tall, dark and handsome.
Blue Velvet - You're pretty weird, even without the mask.
Plus: 10 Love Lessons You Learn In Almost Every Lifetime Movie
The Shining - Your speak dirty in the third person.
The Terminator - You like apocalypse sex because everyone gets a second coming.
Die Hard - If he has a nicer apartment than you, you're not leaving the building.
The Princess Bride - If he's "handy with a sword," you're not leaving the building.
Plus: The 10 Most Romantic Movie Lines Ever Muttered
Fast Times at Ridgemont High - Your dream date takes place in the back of an orange sedan.
Scarface - You always tell the truth. Even when you lie in bed.
This Is Spinal Tap - Don't be afraid to crank things up past 10.
Back to the Future - Beware of accidentally dating your mom.
Who Framed Roger Rabbit? - You can get out of a bad date, but only if it's funny.
When Harry Met Sally - You will never want … that wagon wheel coffee table.
Plus: Our 5 Favorite Love Scenes From Nora Ephron Movies
A Nightmare on Elm Street - You've been running through my mind all day. Screaming.
Broadcast News - You're all shoulder pad and no pleat.
Hoosiers - Your practices aren't designed for people's enjoyment.
The Breakfast Club - You like being "detained."
Big - You're looking for someone with a good job, bunk beds and a trampoline.
The Little Mermaid - You're a princess who is never satisfied, no matter how good the blowout.
Plus: Let's Talk Daddy Issues (Or, Why The Little Mermaid Is The Saddest Movie Ever)
Strange Brew - You're looking for--jelly donut!--you're easily distracted.Ferris Bueller's Day Off - You can do it forwards and backwards.
Stand By Me - You'd cross state lines for the right body.
Superman II - When you fake it, they can tell, because your hair is hardly moving.
Caddyshack - You're looking for someone who likes to swing.
