Filling Your Whole Without Sex - Part Deux

I think your story is quite true to alot of people! we all have our faults, lonelyness is a frame of mind not so easy to understand or deciefer sometimes, reaching out to others can sometimes be benaficial to us to better understand ourselves and or learn to fill that void that we call being lonely! {GOOD LUCK TO ALL TRYING TO FIND THEMSELVES AND OR YOUR HIGHIER POWER/GOD!}

Why is it that the people who hate being alone the most are usually the ones that treat their company the worst? Why is it they hate being alone so badly? Could it be because when they are alone they have no concept of who they are? Some people need the reflection of others to validate their existance. Without that constant attention and feedback from others they start to feel alone. These people will eventually do whatever they have to until they get some kind of response from others to end their lonliness. Isn't that the reason a lot of affairs take place? Isn't it because the one having the affair didn't feel they were getting enough attention from their partner, even if the partner was madly in love with them, and even though they still were in love with their partner? I think that someone who is secure enough with themselves and is not afraid of being alone is much less likely to cheat or have an affair.

Loneliness is infinite. Human Thought is always finite. Any "idea" or "plan" put together by thought can't solve anything as profound as loneliness. All one can do is to observe loneliness but such observation requires a great deal of passion and energy. In the modern world, with enormous demands on one's time, all this is easier said than done.

ahhh..loneliness....i hear you loud and clear...in this day in age where i find myself constantly surrounded by my 4 children, spouse, co-workers and family....i find myself lonely...like there is an endless empty space inside of me that i just cant fill up. My husband and i love each other veyr much and spend alot of time together but sometimes i just get washed over with the feeling of beling alone. I have learned to reconigize this feeling more when it comes down..i used to get angry with my husband like it was his fault i was lonely and started to learn to stop and take stock in what i have on a daily basis and the people in my life..not the empty "hole" anymore...kinda like hitting a reset button....the acknowledgement alone will help pull me out of it..and i have also found that when i feel lonely i think it is more of overwhelmed at times and it is time for some true alone time with myself..like you mentioned...trip to the gym or walk or hot bath to tune into whyt he feeling is there and get over it

I have gone through this often. You're right on about getting to know yourself. In this day and age, it is easy to mistake alone time for loneliness. No, alone time is important. It may seem sad and boring, but it doesn't have to be. Accept it for what it is and embrace it. It is in alone time that we are able to get to know ourselves and recharge for when it's time to get back into together time with another human. :)

Thanks for addressing this! It's an important topic for people to understand.

Loneliness is a state of mind. I don't mind if you don't.

im bored to but not lonely at all

I love this post! Lonliness is just a part of your life, and it's up to you on how you want to deal or accept it. You can be the wealthiest person, or in a loving relationship and still be lonley! Heck you can be on prozac and still be lonley! I'm on meds, and I'm still lonley! I am happy, but lonely. I don't mind most of the time because it gives me new ways to figure out how to occupy myself within. Thank you!

loneliness is a state of mind, usually caused by boredom or insecurity. why do people feel the need to be surrounded by people, things, and events 24/7? no amount of drugs will ever fill that void. why not get involved in something you are passionate about? volunteer your time doing something worthwhile, something that is worthwhile and meaningful to you. rely on yourself to feel fulfilled. ever have a childhood dream? now is the time to pursue that dream. you can't be lonely all the time when you are content with yourself.

i used to be a lot like you. i was lonely even with people around. i constantly looked to other people for companionship, to make me happy, and fill the emptiness i felt inside. well, it never worked. i finally got it together and created a life and happiness for myself. i also accepted the fact that sometimes i will feel lonely, and that is okay.

There are a lot of people who think they are in love and these are things we as people hope for. People who smoke dont care about your health or when they are drinking they dont care how much they disturb you or how bad life is at that moment. For example I was married to a drunken ladie who beat the doors of my house with a metal pan broke out all the windows of my house she is mean oh as well a drug user but would never admit to that when her son sells dope all over the place. Yes I am a lonly man and would love to love a woman who is real with herself and honest not a controller or where have you been today or your dick smells funny today where have you been none of this stuff is cool Yea I have been put thru the test and tested by fire and never have I ever cheated on the woman in whom I was married to or was going out with. Now I am single again I am 40 years old never have done any type of drugs and dont plan on doing any either I work as a union laborer and have a drug test on every job that I have to go to.

Like most other things, (not all), loneliness is a state of mind. One can be amongst a family of many and still be lonely, while anothers can be "an island" (for the most part) and never be alone; having one's thoughts, memories, dreams, hopes, fears and what-nots to keep them entertained.

The real issue here is, how one deals/relates to their own loneliness, because EVERY human being on this planet, at one point or another, is actually alone.

C\what's the cure? that's easy. Like yourself. Like who you are. Realize NOTHING, or all situations, is/are perfect and that making the most out of the time we have here, throughout the good and bad, is really all there is to life, nothing more! Not more money, more sex, more possessions, bigger egos..........

It's my humble opinion the the Almighty God creates that hole (or need) in us that only He can fill. We are designed that way by Him so we will seek Him. Being a Christian and following God is not an easy walk by any means. Personally, it's the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but it is the most fulfilling. There is just something about knowing that you are really "connected" to something so much bigger than yourself that really satisfies the soul. There are many "fringe" benefits as well - such as the more you seek a relationship with Him - the more He will enrich your life with knowledge and wisdom and most of all a sense of real love and security.

Yes, GOD creates that "hole" in all of us. He creates it purposly just so He can be the one to fill it with all HIS Glory. Unless you have really tried to seek the Lord with all your heart and all you mind and all your soul - you will never know what you are truly missing.

You should go to my web site www.gardurkeys.webs.com. Read what I and my family members have been going thru with travis this makes for loneliness as well thanks for reading and helping. This is how prayers really work for those who cannot afford to even get out of a wheel chair loneliness and so full of love and gentleness also compasio. Your Free to walk and talk and see Please help me and the other who support travis get what he needs so badly. share my web address world wide forward this to your friends as well some one may get lucky and become wealthy when they participate

This is all such tripe. It seems to me people just need more panache and zest for life, there own life. start by joining a gym and get your endorphins boosted. Practise positive imagery and loneliness will be left behind and these voids of discontent will be filled. People need to get out from behind he computer and get in front of life.

John, thanks for the honesty. What makes stuff not work, though? I mean, if what you're saying is true, won't you ulimately be starting over again and again? What is your definition of things not working which would cause you to look again? Because it's just the laws of physics - what comes up, must come down. Marriage has great days and crap ones. Are you saying that you can't hang on when the crap ones hit? If so, and not saying you're wrong - I think this is the case for a ton of people - isn't this kind of saying "marriage only works when my needs are met 100%". Last I checked marriage was a partnership. No wonder more and more people are getting divorced.

I obviously have a different take on your statement, but seriously, thank you for your candid opinion. You are far from alone in it. Good luck!

No one can make us happy or less lonely. It's up to us as individuals to take care of ourselfs. Everything has to com from with in yourself.

I think its important for people to have lonely time. We give some much of ourself to other, why not give some of your own time back to yourself? Why does one's time always have to be filled with something or someone? I say relax and watch a sunset or sunrise!!!

I know the feeling of being lonely. My fiance passed away last month at the age of 31. I never imagined myself at 28 and feeling a void in my life like this. I have tried exercising, reading spending time with family and friends but at the end of the day there you are alone with your thoughts and lonely..

Hi all -

Thanks to both the pros and the cons for this article. For those who get what I was trying to say, I'm glad. I think for any person with intelligence comes a bit of a control factor. I know I, for one, thought marriage would fix everything. And it just doesn't. I admit that loneliness is a part of life, and since doing that, have been more happy in my marriage than I've ever been in my life. I can adore Rex for what he can give, get from others what he cannot give, and then for the small percentage that is still restless turn to my faith and hobbies.

I suppose the bigger question is this: What about this concept is so upsetting? Some of you got pretty riled up. Is it because I'm right? Do you still have ideals that married people are not allowed to be frustrated? Or am I just plain wrong? I'd love to hear.

Thanks.

make new friends, walk the dog(anybodys dog will do),go help out a charity,visit the YWCA,get 2 or 3 books you have been too buisy up untill now to read,go out to the movies,go to a new restaurant,go into your nearest city and get a crazy wig and hit the town like you are somebody else. Write a poem and see if you can get it published by sending it to different publishers. Find your local botanical garden. Go back to school. Pimp out your car.(if you have one). Help a Sarahs House. Have a yard sale. Pitch a tent in the living room. Learn how to shoot a gun, take martial arts, ride a horse, ride a motorcycle or get a moped. Join a gym. Join a sewing class/club. Scrapbook. Check out festivals in your area, listen to music you would normally never listen to. Start one conversation in the grocery store, or anywhere in public. Take a painting course. Riffle through a car store like pep-boys and look for car manuals for all the old cars you have ever owned. Get a fish. Get hermit crabs. Get a bike. Study crystals. Join a political party. Have a political party. Go to South America. Study lava flow in Hawaii. Learn a new language. Swim anywhere. Join a polar bear group. There are too many things to do. I am exhausted just thinking about them.