Flirting for Favors

I did flirt my way into bartering about $75,000 worth of work. But I also kept my side of the bargain. My husband work hard trying to even off the score and I work 8 years to complete this barter thing I did.

The house is about 1/3 done on the remodel.

Better get on my flirting apron!

Or you know, some people DO actually care about others, and are nice to them, and as a result get what they want. I try to be extra nice to customer service people, because I used to work in customer service, and I know how hard it can be. As a result, I often get what I want because they're relieved that they're not dealing with one more super-obnoxious-a---- customer. Kindness goes a long way, and just because you may get something out of it doesn't make it bad. So long as your heart is in the right place. :)

Well, its clear the majority of posters on here are twisting this into something ugly. This article is not about manipulation. If you don't know when to turn on the charm..wow. for men and women. I am loved by many and disliked by few, but I know the masses like happy, charming women, and you attract more flies with honey than vinegar...it wouldn't kill some of you commenters to learn that...jeez lol

Dubs!! What a great first line, and its so true. Haha,

"Articles on how to be a manipulative b*tch. Alright Shine....keep that role model integrity going."

Thank you Dubs for saying what most of us are thinking after reading this article.

And this is how you get ahead in life... for those of you who think you're too good to do this... take a good look in the mirror. Bunch of hypocrites!

Hey this so works. And this method is not totally wrong cuz we girls didnt put a gun to your head forcing you to be that nice did we? I didnt think so

Articles on how to be a manipulative b*tch. Alright Shine....keep that role model integrity going. I don't give these types of women the time of day. The power of feminine persuasion only works on suckers. If gimmicks need to be employed then it only reflects on ones own lack of depth of character and maturity.

This kind of behavior has the potential to lead people on and give the wrong impressions with mixed signals. I generally thought women wanted to be seen as equals and characterized by their merits not by how they know how to manipulate with so called "feminine mystique aka persuasion". With all of Shine's contrary articles it seems they simply want to be the arbiters to define their own duplicity in whatever situation that suits them. To the mature women that don't need to employ these kinds of tactics and just use honest communication, I salute you.

I see nothing wrong with this article, quite on the contrary. It's not about being manipulative, it's about making the most out of every opportunity that you get...
In my case, I happen to have a bit of a problem with my car, ALWAYS breaking down at the wrong moments! So I need to have it serviced quite often and it would be a pain to do so if I hadn't found a nice garage, with very nice people working there. The girl who works as secretary is really sweet, so I would have been tempted to befriend her even if she didn't work there. As it happens, she does, so whenever I call to schedule some repair, she's more than happy to help. And every now and then I'd drop her a compliment or say something nice (and be GENUINE about it too!), 'cause it's a win-win situation for me.
And then, of course, there's the stunning-looking mechanic, but that's a different story LOL!

I've used my charm on rare occasions but my husband is the impressive one. He always gets the best deals and he's just being honest in the process. He tells salesmen what he wants to pay, they bring back they're "best offer" and he thanks them for their time but he can't do it. After a few more "best offers" he always gets what he wants. My husband has been chased by salesmen as we're walking to our car from the store/dealership/gym/etc.

After studying him for awhile I've figured the trick is to remain polite, firm and emotionless. You also have to mean it when you say you're willing to walk away from the deal if they can't meet your budget.

it is an art...

I'd say all the suggestions are just ways to be charming, but five and six feel manipulative to me. Charming someone is being slightly manipulative, but not in the overtly damaging way it's normally thought of, in my opinion.

Wow! Reading some of these comments we can see who DOESN'T know the subtle art! Lol!

Lol @ the ignorant people defending this technique.

You can be nice and polite without being manipulative. And if you think that flirting with the Tow Truck man instead of calling his supervisor is the "proper" way to do things, then you are just a sad person that needs to get some sense slapped into your head

To the writer of this article:

"Its not what you write its how you write it."

You are writing about NET WORKING not "FFFing".
This article reads the wrong way and makes women who do NET WORK the right way look like tarts looking for the next "boobs".

Anyway I get it and I'm sure others do too.

I have done this a LOT over the years, and yes it works. I suspect you will get a lot of people bashing you for "using people" or "being fake", etc., but I would bet that those people don't know how to do this or are uncomfortable doing it. To each their own.....

I don't consider it using people or being fake. It is being nice to someone when you are asking for help. Men can do it too. I've seen it! I simply call this the Gentle Art of Persuasion. Nothing wrong with it at all, and anyone can do it. :)

Giz,
Reread the article.
What you said is true. But what you said is NOT what the article said.

Sure, I've used my "womanly wiles" to get a better deal, or to get closer to a concert stage, etc. I've done it only a few times, though.

People would rather deal with a nice, happy person who might flirt a little then a boring, uptight, unhappy person who will probably b---- at them for not doing it their way. I've seen both sides of the issue and the nice people are the ones who get better service.

Flirting isn't always about having a pretty face and/or a nice body. You can flirt without being in their face. Just be nice and smile and see what you get in return!

Plus, if you got it, flaunt it! Life's too short to be so moody all the time.

Look, everyone has tactics they use to get what they need. The truth is, that as a woman, or person in general, you generally get more accomplished by being nice and sweet on the surface, but firm at your core than you do going into a situation acting cool, impassive, unaffected, etc. It's not flirting so much as knowing what approach is most likely to get you to your goal. People WANT to help the friendly person that treats them well.

In business, if I need something from a different department, a collegue, etc., calling them or walking over to them with a friendly hello, making a little small talk, complimenting them on something that I actually feels deserves the attention and then thanking them profusely when they make time in their busy day to help me out, gets me a lot further than demanding something and giving someone a deadline or just shooting over a quick email. Likewise, customer service reps. and retail clerks are often so used to being treated like crap that if you come at them in a friendly matter they are so pleased with the break, they'll return the favor by being far more helpful or offering you incentives they didn't bother to mention to the rude people they dealt with that day. At a restaurant or bar, being nice and understanding when food takes forever to get out of the kitchen or comes out incorrectly, is likely to get you a discount without ever having to ask. When I do fundraising events for the service group I work with I often times get more donations than other volunteers because I take the time to talk to and be friendly to people and than thank them for their support.

Sometimes being nice doesn't work and at that point I will switch to being very firm and assertive, but I generally go into interactions with others in a friendly, open, warm matter. I do this regardless of whether the individual is male or female. People really underestimate the value of a warm, friendly tone, a cheerful demeanor, a nice smile and a simple thank you.

The charming successful guys I know generally use the same approach. Acting cold, standoffish and self-important puts anyone you deal with on the defensive and is likely to just make your life more difficult. Why do it if you don't have to. You're not throwing yourself at someone. You are treating them like they matter and are helping you out. After all, they do matter and they ARE helping you out, even if they are just doing their job.

This isn't manipulation or cheating someone out of anything. It's what every single person in customer service wishes every customer would do: treat them like real people. I've never thought of it as flirting, but being sincere, apologetic, self-deprecating and/or sympathetic will always get you better service. I never go out of my way to assist people who are rude toward me. Why would I expect anyone to treat me with kindness if all I offer is rudeness?