At our Friday night whine and wine this eve, the gals and I got on the subject of flirting. Is it okay or is it not? The overall consensus was that we might be married, but we're not dead. "Harmless flirtations bring out something I didn't even know I had," one friend said. She added, "It's not like I'm ever going to cheat on my spouse because of it."
I can't lie: I fall into the flirting category a bit. I'm not one to throw myself at men, but I'll talk up a dad at school.
I'll crack a funny pun with the cute bagger at Trader Joe's who asks for my I.D.. (Believe me, he doesn't need to ask for my I.D., so unless I've suddenly lost twp decades by some miraculous Yuban guzzling anti-age miracle' I'm pretty sure he's flirting, too.)
If I'm sitting alone in a restaurant and some nice waiter enjoys our conversation, I'm not going to tell him, "Oh, no, you don't need to bring me a free sundae. Just you staring at the two scoops on my chest was enough." (Okay, I wouldn't really profess that last sentence, but I'd be thinking it. And, apparently, telling the world wide web about it. Don't be mad, Mom. I inherited the busty twins from your side. Not my fault.)
On one hand, I can call my gift of gab and joking "harmless" nothings, but does doing only a little bit of coke make one less of a drug addict? Is screaming just a little at the kids each day better than non-stop bellowing from dusk til dawn?
I certainly don't want to live life as nun. I'm not going to take some religious vow that says I can't converse with man outside the presence of my husband. That's about as ridiculous as saying that I'll never patron a thrift store or enjoy a glass of wine. I write a sex blog, for God sake. I feel confident in the balance I've drawn between "being real" but maintaining some privacy... about my privates.
But not everyone will agree with me. Some have said I'm a blabbing idiot with no shame. Others say I'm a prude. I'm sure, like my column, there's a myriad of opinions behind the ethics of flirting, as well as its definition.
Speaking of, what is the definition of flirting? According to the dictionary, it could mean 3 things:
1. To court triflingly or act amorously without serious intentions
2. To trifle or toy, as with an idea
3. To move with a jerk or jerks
I put myself in the first category as I'm not serious about anything other than a little conversation. But do you think men might be thinking I want more of the third definion? "To move (something) with a jerk or jerks?"
Thoughts on flirting? Do you do it? Is it wrong? Are there degrees of okay with it?
Posted by Andrea Frazer
More from Good Housekeeping:
* Plan a Perfect Mother's Day!
* Spice Up the Bedroom
* Update Your Wardrobe For Less
* Dress For Your Body Type
* For More Tips & Tricks You Can Count On: Subscribe to Good Housekeeping & Save!
Reprinted with Permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.