Can you ever really forgive if you can't forget?
By Alex Johnson for BounceBack.com
They say an elephant never forgets. Who knew that the same concept could potentially be said for humans?
There will come a time in life when we will be faced with someone apologizing to us or we will be the ones asking for forgiveness. For either scenario, when you are asking for forgiveness, it is rare that you will also ask the person to forget about what happened, your main concern is just saying you are sorry (which can be a difficult task in itself). Which leads to the question of…can you forgive if you never forget?
Related: I Am Sorry
Every single one of us has those "deal breakers" in which we will tolerate what is acceptable and what is not when it comes to having people in our lives. Some live by the rule of, "three strikes and you're out," while some give you "one chance and one chance only. " When it comes to making an important decision in life it is often best to weigh out the pro's and con's to each side. So let's do just that…
Pro- Forgiving & Forgetting:
Just like Julia Roberts stood in front of Hugh Grant and confessed that, "She is just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her." That sense of being vulnerable and raw in front of someone can leave anyone feeling extremely exposed. The same goes for asking for forgiveness. It takes a big person to say, "I am sorry," but it takes and even bigger person to say, "I forgive you." The advantage to accepting someone's apology is that it not only is making the other person feel better about the situation but also gives you the opportunity to forget the scenario and begin to move on and build an even stronger relationship.
Con-Forgiving & Forgetting:
Flipping the other side of the coin to the disadvantage of forgiving and forgetting someone's wrong doing can be a little bit trickier.
The real test comes after you have hugged it out and begin to move forward. Once you choose to forgive someone, you let go of the opportunity to ever bring it back in someone's face. As that person had stood before you, asking you to forgive them and once you have forgiven. You must know that bringing back up that person's mistake is hitting below the belt. It is the equivalent of saying to a child that they can have a toy and then taking it away from them.
While the concept of forgiving and forgetting continues to be controversial in relationships, if it is you asking for forgiveness or you are on the listening side, make sure you put some humanity into your choice and play fairly on the playground because no one likes a bully.
BounceBack.com helps people find happiness in the right relationship. If you've been through a breakup, divorce, or just haven't been able to find happiness in your love life,BounceBack is a place to tell your story, get community support and advice from experts, and find the confidence and strength you need to move forward. Check out our Facebook page.
More articles on BounceBack.com:
The Casualties of Casual Sex
Wingmen: A Hurt of Hinder to Your Chance at Finding Love?
8 Signs This May Be The One
Is Sex Really Required?
Alex Johnson is a freelance writer and is currently living in New York City. Follow his blog about love, dating and all in between at: www.updatenyc.net