Fred Flintstone is about to make a comeback. "Family Guy" creator Seth McFarlane just announced plans to revamp the show for Fox's fall line-up. "I think America is finally ready for an animated sitcom about a fat, stupid guy with a wife who's too good for him," joked McFarlane at a press conference.
But seriously, that Fred. What a jerk.
Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin may have inherited Fred's oafishness, and unbelievable luck with women, but they've been drawn a lot softer around the edges for today's viewers. The crap Fred got away with, while still maintaining a high lovable-ity quotient, would never fly now.
And you'll never see Homer, or even George Jetson, yell at his wife to the point where she cries, like Fred did in a 1962 episode of the Flintstones called, Happy Household. "How many times have I told you a woman's place is in the home?" Fred bellows, as Wilma trembles in fear. And can you blame her? When those eye-brows point downward there's no telling what he'll do.
Other things Wilma isn't allowed to do: leave the kitchen, drive, not wear pearls. Once Fred came home a minute-literally a single minute-early and Wilma starts freaking out that dinner's not on the table. So she runs to put his meal in front of him and he's already got a scowl on his face. He keeps a checklist of every time his meal is served late and scolds her for it. It's so embarrassing to watch.
For their anniversary, he invited a bunch of guys (and Barney, of course) into their bedroom while Wilma was still sleeping. They woke her up by singing a race-horsing song on the piano. That was his gift.As if that wasn't creepy enough, he has can-can girls on speed dial.
Also the littlest things set Fred off. For example, Fred gets really mad when Barney does cute voices to Pebbles. He says it makes him want to drag Barney out by his collar. He disowned Barney when he drank his last bottle of cold cactus cola. The only time he was nice to his best friend was when he was bailing him out of jail.
Here's an example of Fred's sense of humor: Dino hurting himself cracks him up to no end. So, he's not the brightest pet dinosaur and sometimes he miscalculates the bone to door ratio. But it takes one sick b------ to laugh when his pet slams into a doorway and collapses in pain.
Also Fred is a freaking liar.
And he's racist.
And he holds his arms kind of like an ape.
And he chain-smokes. Winstons.
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