has been honest from the start. He doesn’t want to get married, he doesn’t think about getting married, he did it once and it didn’t work out, and even George Clooneyhis sister will tell you, he’d rather be single.
So let’s not repeat the same mistakes we’ve made in past and act surprised by Clooney’s split with Stacy Keibler. The couple dated two years, following Clooney’s two year relationship with Elisabetta Canalis. Both relationships are said to have ended for the same reason: George Clooney won’t settle down. You can’t blame a woman for taking a ride on his two year relationship train—Lake Como! The Oscars!— but you can’t expect her to change him either.
Oh, but we do. With every Clooney break-up comes the inevitable disappointment for all who wrestle with a commitment-averse partner. Let’s call them commitment-phobe-aholics—those marrying types (yes, often heterosexual women) most attracted to partners who never want to wed. There is plenty of evidence from Clooney alone, that this type of attraction is a recipe for disappointment and unjustified self-shame. So why do we keep going towards the light?
The self-sabotaging relationship is intoxicating. On the surface, the idea of a hard to reach target makes a challenge all the more rewarding when it’s won. But there’s got to be more to it than that. Here are four reasons commitment-phobes do so well with the ladies, according to studies, surveys, and smarty-pants scientists.
Reason 1: Women get drunk with hormones.
Researchers at the University of Texas found that once a month, fertile women get intoxicated by the scent of one-hit-wonder guys. "Under the hormonal influence of ovulation, women delude themselves into thinking that the sexy bad boys will become devoted partners and better dads," according to the study’s lead researcher. "When looking at the sexy cad through ovulation goggles, Mr. Wrong looked exactly like Mr. Right.” That's right, your ovulation goggles are telling you that the guy who installed a stripper pole in his bedroom is actually really great with kids. When you finally start to second guess your decision, you've got small window of sobriety before the goggles go back on and the hormone-drunk texts commence.
Reason 2: Ambition is sexy.
In a recent Match.com survey, two thirds of women between the ages of 25 and 34 considered ambition and career motivation key to a man’s sex appeal. "This is the 'can you add value or will you take-eth away' stage. Women are starting to think about having kids someday and they certainly do not want a man who is mooching off of them," Dr. Karen Ruskin, a licensed marriage and family psychotherapist, told Yahoo! Shine. "They want someone who can be a partner with them so that their children can have the life they want their children to have, and so that they can have the lives they want to have." This is totally rational and fits nicely into our Darwinian model. There's one problem: ambitious guys aren't always on the same page about starting a family. Clooney, for example, has made it clear that he's married to his career. Women have heard an obnoxious earful about how our career focus hampers our ability to settle down. As veteran multitaskers, we've put that theory to rest. You know who's not as good at multitasking? You guessed it, George Clooney.
Reason 3: Changing a guy is a thing.
If you search for "commitment-phobe" on the Internet, you will find an overwhelming amount of advice on how to cure someone of this problem. According "experts" you can actually change a man through subtle manipulation and total repression of your own needs. Does this really work? Absolutely. Women are powerful creatures. They can change a guy’s speech patterns when they're ovulating, and they can change his behavior when they're carrying his child. It works, but not every time, and not with every partner. If you had magical superpowers, wouldn't you want to practice using them, even if they didn't always work the first time? This may be why so many women ask the very same Internet, "why do I keep picking the wrong guy?" Some people are just perfectionists.
Reason 4: Everyone is really confused.
A study published American Psychological Association journal Emotion, found that while men respond well to a woman who smiles, women prefer a man with a “moody,” “proud,” or "powerful" expression. Guys, meanwhile, think that kind of confidence in a woman is a turn-off. Isn't that lovely? Instead of blaming anyone for the problems of human nature, let's just accept that our instincts aren't always working on our behalf, shall we?And George Clooney isn't the marrying type. For real.