Going Cohab? 8 survival tips for staying together

marriage is big joke.id rather be with someone I want to rather than just to stay because I signed a paper

great article! i've been living with my boyfriend for about 9 months now, and have been wondering if there was anything different i/we should be doing, such as spending more time apart, etc. i found this at the perfect time, thanks!

rtyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Unfortunately, this is a sign of the times. We are a disposable society...everything seems to come cheap these days, including relationships. People just seem to want to be able to throw eveything away if it induces even the slightest bit of inconvenience and get something new. All the internet "dating" and "play" sites don't help. Men and women have the option of going online and finding someone else with the click of a mouse. It's all so sad. I am one of the minority ones who believes in traditional values and was raised in a two parent home where death did them part. I'm sure as I sit here typing this that my parents had problems, especially with money, but they managed to raise 5 well-adjusted children on just one income. We didn't have all the latest and greatest things, but we had what mattered...love. If more people were willing to forego all the instant gratifications we find ourselves surrounded by and just enjoy each other, the world would be a better place. I am still single, sadly, because I can not find a man to commit. I have a lot of love to give but it seems if you show a man you love him, he freaks out and runs. Like I said, sad.

All discussed above is well but before that we must know and acknowledge and be prepared for it that when we are single we meet each other and see each otherat our best but when we marry we cannot keep ourselves best all the time so there must be room and understanding for this issue that we should try our best to handle our love ones at their worst too. Our problme is that we want people to bear us at our worst and we want to accept the best only, so here the problem begins.So compromising and sharing can help a lot......regards

coHab=always chasing youre taiL in a circLe...yeah, test it ouT..UL never see the true ruN..cause youLL run before the road becomes beautifully in place..your aLL idioTs
beCome old maids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My boyfriend and I have lived together for nearly a year. We decided to move in together because we both lived alone, both paid rent, and were both looking to decrease out rent payments and potentially take on a roommate. We decided that since we both got along so well and practically lived together anyways, we'd move in as 'roomates' - 50/50 when it came to household expenses (we both have pasts where we were the main providers in our relationships, so we were both a bit weary).

It has worked out great!

We usually don't fight over money, because we spend the same. We split the rent 50/50. We both set aside $350 each for groceries and household items - he's responsible for specialty stores (Target/Costco/Trader Joe's), I'm responsible for main grocery staples (Ralphs/Pavilions/Farmer Markets). As long as we stick to our $350 budgets, we know we are both pulling our weight.

When we go out, we have a rule: If one of us suggests eating out for the evening and the other says 'yes', it's dutch. If one of us doesn't want the spend the money, we say so. This gives the other the opportunity to offer to pay for the entire meal, or say 'OK nevermind'. If one of us asks the other on a 'date', the asker pays! We came up with this agreement so as to avoid confusion over who pays when we dine out! It has totally worked.

When it comes to chores - we split the house work as well (we both work full time); he picks up; I scrub up (we're both pretty tidy people). We cook together most nights and clean up the kitchen together. I do laundry, he buys the quarters.

All in all, we've approached the situation as partners, and it's worked! The best thing about it is since we both give, we both receive!

I think if your gonna live with your significant other that the relationship should be long-term meaning possible marriage in the future. The marriage doesn't have to be quickly, but atleast the mindset is where are in this together and for the long run.

I think cohabitation can help better prepare you for married life that way there are no surprises later on.

At 72 and single, I have been married twice and shacked up 4 times. The shacks lasted longer, were more fun, and ended peacefully remaining friends. Don't get married, not worth it.

Monica, why do you think its dumb?

this article is very helpful....,my boyfriend and I live together..there are times when things do get a little hectic but we try to commnicate and figure out whats going wrong and how we can make it better. He is very supportive of me. We both work and since he works more hours I contribute to doing more chores around the house such as cooking and cleaning and other thing. He also cooks and cleans too. I love his cooking..lol. Its a very nice thing to live with someone before marriage because you are able to see how that person really is. I love it that me and my man stay together and we are planning on getting married. We are having a baby boy in march 2011...yay me ...we are very excited. this will be my second child.....

Well if more people cohabited, and did it a ~smart~ way, then there'd be less divorce, abuse, and hell, probably fewer unwanted children. There might be even more, happier marriages, but of course all you ol' fashioned folks wouldn't want that!

Cohabitation is against all relegions. I think we should better seek solutions to our REAL problems instead of adding another one to the list.

When you marry: you lose your freedom to choose, you allow the government to tell you what to do
as you file for divorce your partner wants to take you for all you've got whether (he-she) worked for it
or not.( is that romantic or what?) and you pay the lawyers a fortune just to keep some of your
property. Is getting married these days smart? I say not, the best way to enjoy a relationship is to
get a written agreement that protects both parties. If you decide to buy property also decide under agreement, kids definitely. Save yourself stressful times by putting all that matters to you on paper.
Keep as much control as you can on personal decisions you might want to make in the future.
Do not give anybody authority to possess your property much less run your life. The government is
already trying to do that and it is not even married to us.Remember that marriage is a business
contract treat it as such. and if you do not want to go in the marriage business, do not let anyone
tell you different.That includes your parents when they tell you they want Grandkids!!!.This by no
means be telling you to be a irresponsible adult but rather, educate yourself pay your way and watch out for leaches who want to suck you financially dry and use the court("leach") system to accomplish it.If the cave men did it without the aid of marriage why can't you?.
it.

Its very good to hear and read

People need to keep things in perspective here about cohabitating. There is nothing wrong with it as long as the couple gets to know each other first & then discusses how they will handle things. This is a mature way of doing things. Whether you marry first or not does not decide if the relationship will work out. It depends on where you are in your life at the time & how well you communicate with each other. Couples that do marry have a 50/50 chance at it working out and that is again based on communication and maturity. It has nothing to do with moving in together physically before signing legal documents in marriage.

"Work alot" is not on the list, but it should be. Having no time for relationship drama is the best thing that happened to my relationship in the last two years. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing, and that includes time.

The article was helpful for those choosing not to marry first. I do think it may be better to already be committed and heading in that direction when children are involved. Clarifying what living together means to each one person involved keeps everyone on the same page. I simply disagree with making living together just another step in dating. Some people live with almost everyone they date and never learn to live single. Not trying to sound judgemental its just something Ive notice for awhile.

nobodys perfect as time change people change we constently want to upgrade on every thing too many changes some people are never satisfied and get bored with what they got . love what you got for what it is. things happen beacaus we think its better on on the other side or hurt that person by mistake we look for all the negatives do what you want to do in the relationship and leave the rest in god hands make yourself happywhen she or he wont do the part you do it and forget about it beacausr you will dwell on the problem and it becomes worst like some one said we cant always have things our way peace!