Guys, Dating & Money: 6 Ways to Know if He's a Charmer or a Cheapskate

I always pay for half, regardless of who does the asking. I don't feel like it's a guys job to pay for things for me. It's also just easier this way, and there is no wondering what "dating rules" the other person follows. Once I've been dating someone for a while then it seems more appropriate to take turns treating each other to things. Also, I don't feel that it shows "horrific manners" at all that a guy asked a girl to pay, since he paid last time. Perhaps she did not even offer to split the bill either time, and he felt this showed bad manners (b/c I know I would).

oh my goodness... seriously its 2010, if a woman can't pay for her own damn meal or hell even buy a guy dinner then we need to stop bitching about not being treated as equals! as a woman i am so tired of hearing my friends talk about how they need to find someone to take care of them, its sick. its women like that who give us a bad name. ay yi yi

I just have one question, Is the initiating dates about a dollar amount or is it the same as the reciprocating dates that are not about a dollar amount? Most often I meet women who want their men to take them to the most expensive restaurant in town but when it is their time to pay they take me to the cheapest restaurant or spend a fraction of what I have spent on them on me. These women earn as much or more than I do. It can make a man feel taken advantage of if he is shelling out big bucks on you and you don't reciprocate in kind if you have the means to do so. Some women feel that it is the man's responsibility to ask out the woman so they never ask a guy out which leaves the guy always asking and always paying. So that rule that says who ever ask pays doesn't change anything at all because women don't ask guys out and they resent a guy for expecting them to ask sometimes.

> According to modern manners, 'the person who does the asking does the paying.'
> In 2010, gender is not the deciding factor.

WRONG!! To say this is sheer idiocy.

Women dictate the "who does the asking does the paying" rule (men certainly didn't make it up), then go all traditional and passive thus making sure it's still men's *job* to do all the asking.

So gender *is* still the deciding factor because women are stuck in a 1950's mindset. They certainly aren't doing anywhere near their half of the sh1twork of asking. One suspects it's because they're cheapskates who don't want to pay for anything, and get everything given to them for free just because they deserve it.

Why don't women just say the Rule is: "The man always pays."? That way we can be clear that there's no romance without finance (from the male standpoint), and women are just hos, not angels.

If women actually wanted something nearer to "equality", "partnership", and all the other modern PC buzzwords, the rule would be "She/he who does the *accepting* does the paying". This would encourage more women to do the asking, and maybe a few more men, too, because it would reward asking, not penalize it.

LOL great post Jet K

In lesbian relationships there is no standard for who pays because no one is a man in the relationship. It's funny how gender expectations leave when two women get together.

It's also sad that women STILL are playing into gender expectations. Letting the male always pay sets up the whole relationship for the OLD WORLD view of how women and men should behave. When two people who like each other decide to go on a date, they should go dutch or switch who pays. That creates a bond that is equal, and doesn't create situations where one person is dis-empowered.

I had this girl i didnt know very well ask me out to meet for a drink...when I got there she had her girlfriend with her and they were already having drinks and started ordering more...

I drank ice water... the two women ordered a bunch of drinks totalling $150 the waiter of course put the bill in front of me like they do with all the guys.

I didnt touch it... I wasnt going to get raked by these parasite women so I left the bill for them to pay...

the chicks got so mad and stormed out acting like I was some loser for not buying their drinks... I was actually the winner... LOL...I saved my money and saved myself from being used and abused by these loser chicks....

My boyfriend paid on our first few dates. We've been together for over two years now so we're pretty even about who pays. He'll pay for one meal and I'll pay for another or I'll pay for movies and he'll pay for dinner. I think this way works because we make about the same amount of money and it wouldn't be fair if he paid for everything.

God forbid "some" American women spend any of their own money on someone else besides themselves. It's become a taboo I swear. It's a wonder that many men do not consider a woman as his equal after he pays for so many consecutive dates where no initiative has been reciprocated. Then they come out with books & movies titled "He's just not that into you"...and they wonder why, why hasn't he called back LOL.The disconnect and indignation is utterly hilarious. Maybe its because the spoiled princess entitlement complex has become a turn off? Just a hunch.

Men should always pay! A TRUE gentleman would never allow the woman to pay, I don't care what year it is, some traditions should never die. That is why there are so many divorces these days... men and women don't know their roles anymore and it's causing major conflict between the sexes. God made man and woman different for a reason, to compliment eachother but with different roles. Believe me when I tell you, 99% of women HATE cheap men... it's the biggest turn off in our book!

My man paid for everything on our first date. The dinner, a new shirt and we're still together.

Of course this article is like every love and sex article. It makes the assumption that everyone is in a heterosexual relationship and excludes bisexual and lesbian women.

I want to see a change on this site. I have tried MANY times to address this with the staff and they coldly tell me that they are fine with posting articles asking people if its okay that I marry the person of MY choice. Like it's up to them.

And if they write anything else about our community.... it is tokenized. There aren't articles encompassing ALL women.

I am a Chinese woman, the Chinese guys always pay the bills when we date. For Chinese men, it is a shame to let the women pay the bills. My first time date with foreigner is an American guy from New York, he asked me out for a date, when the waitress went to get the bill, this guy went to the restroom :), he paid every meal after the first date, but I had never like him because he make me paid the first bill, it was my first and only one time I paid for a guy.

Honestly, I agree with these rules. I paid for most the dates when we first started dating with my now husband. Because I asked him out. After a while we just randomly alternated.

Also I don't like that a lot of women I know want guys to take some to insanely pricy places and then act like 'oh he has to pay blah blah'. Its crap. And frankly wasting that much money on going to eat is really insane.

This is a bit ranty but I hate the idea that all women don't like cheap guys. I love thrift, finding a good deal and making the buck stretch. I can take a little money, butcher my own stuff, make all my own ingredients and make that money go far. I wish my husband was cheaper than he already is!

JETK--that was awesome! But my story beat's yours!!

About two months ago I had a guy that was an acquaintance ask me out on a date. HE wanted to go out for dinner first but I didn't want to do dinner because I had eaten already & he asked me out as a spur of the moment type of thing. He lived about 30 minutes away and I began naming restaurants off my exit of where we could have dinner. I said Olive Garden, Smoky Bones, and even offered Panera Bread. I only offered those choices because most people like those and it was close to the exit. OMG! He said that he didn't want any of those because he has to be in the "mood" to eat at those places. Instead....DRUM ROLL PLEASE......He wanted to meet at BURGER KING!!!

I am not high maintenance and so I agreed. A few hours later, there at BK we met on our FIRST date! How embarrassing! We talked and dinner was okay. He did purchase me a drink, and two items off the dollar menu! This gets funnier as I type it! Hahaha. I suggested we see a funny movie after and he agreed. I really was going to pay for my movie, I had my wallet out but he spoke to the desk person first and got two tickets, I kept saying that I'd give him the money for mine and that he didn't have to pay. But he wouldn't hear of it. Once in our seats, and through the entire movie all I heard were his complaints. He complained about the theater and how it didn't provide the experience he paid for! He said that he would be calling the management on Monday to get tickets or a refund. His attitude was horrible and ridiculous. He also made racist comments about a group of minorities and even put down the city that I live in. I live in a tropical climate, palm trees, pools, nothing about it is worth putting down! He was also trying to move fairly quickly on a first date, from placing his hand on my thigh to putting his arm around my waist and laying his head on my shoulder. He was gross. I finally had it with his dumb arse and removed his arm off my shoulder and waist and told him that enough was enough and that it was our first date and that I usually get to know someone first before all of that type of affection. He also left his gum in his car---which was a bad move since his breath smelled like a horse's behind! That was the worst date EVER. I have never wanted to run away from a date so badly! Gross gross gross! Now that is a cheapskate in every sense of the word!

To make matters worse, he called me a few days after and I sent him straight to voicemail! A few days ago he tried to contact me and I was about to tell him how much of a disaster I thought he was when the call got disconnected--God does us small favors! :)

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I dated some dude for a few months. He always managed to make me buy him something and be 'apologetic' for it later. Cigarettes, beer, groceries. On Haloween night last year I took him out with my brother. I paid for all his beer at the club, his pool playing at the billiards joint, and his dinner. He got so drunk and crazy and walked off somewhere, I called him on his cell phone to make sure he was ok. By then he had sobered up. He screamed into the phone"what do you care?!" I was like dude, i just took you out and took good care of you and ur yellin and being unappreciative? I dumped him a few days later.