Ariane Marder, Glamour magazine
Somehow it's been ingrained in our consciousness that men hate foreplay. Which kinda sucks if that's true because most of us girls need it to get us going. So what's the deal, men? I asked and they gave me the dirt. Check it...
"Sex without foreplay is like going to get ice cream and ordering a scoop of vanilla. There is nothing particularly wrong with vanilla, but how can you tell me some M&Ms and Oreo cookies wouldn't make it better? If foreplay is disliked by men, nobody gave me that memo."
- Jason, 29
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"I personally love it, but if my partner doesn't and it's done half-assed, it's a huge turnoff. With intercourse, it's easy to get wrapped up in your own thing, but with foreplay you have to be very aware of what you're doing as it relates to the other person. And I think it's a better indicator of your partners kink level... Teasing (with touch, not in the 'mean girl' way) is my favorite."
- Blaine, 27
"It depends. There are times when it's more fun than others, like when you know that your partner is doing things that you really like. And I think knowing that someone will want to do those things makes it more fun and worthwhile. As long as both people are on the same page, it's a fun part of the process. We all, always, go too fast. We want to be indulged. At least I do."
- Greg, 24
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"As a single guy, foreplay is usually fun and informative, but not necessary. Foreplay helps to familiarize us with each other's bodies and boundaries. I gotta say that some of my favorite foreplay starts during the flirtation process. There's a lot to be said for eye-contact, innuendo and 'accidental' brushing up against one another. Also, conversation, where we both know we're into each other, and we're staring into each other's eyes, talking fast, and inching closer deserves to be under the foreplay umbrella in my book. When is comes to physical fun, it's a great way to confirm my desire and heighten arousal, or, and very importantly, it can help me figure out if I really want to keep going. Sometimes you discover you just don't "fit" sexually. Awkward foreplay will inevitably lead to awkward sex, an awkward goodbye, and an awkward amount of unanswered texts, and then an awkward bumping into each other at the bar while you're kicking it to a new girl."
- Randy, 30
"I love it, but sometimes, I like the idea of going from zero to sixty. Why draw it out when you know what waiting for you at the finish line?"
- Tyler, 22
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"Most of the time, I love foreplay with my girlfriend. Since I've been in a relationship for a while now, sometimes just the fact that one of us is in the mood isn't enough to ignite the other's fire. So some nice sexy touching can really do wonders. When she answers my "baby, I had a long day at work, I'm just too tired" with a gentle massage, some light kisses, and then some wandering hands, it does the trick 100 percent. Foreplay is also the best for spicing up the ol' sex life, too. It can get much kinkier than sex. There's a lot more to explore with a lot of different body parts. It's almost like being naughty teenagers again. And there is nothing better than when my girl can't stand the teasing anymore and we just have to get down to business."
- Luke, 28
K, now it's your turn? Do you like foreplay? Are there times where you're happy to skip it? Are you surprised that the guys I asked are generally so gung ho?
Ariane Marder, Glamour magazine