If your boyfriend says he loves you but refuses to commit, you may be wondering, how could that be? This article will help you understand why a man can tell you he loves you and still not want to commit. For the longest time I have researched the subject of commitment and how commitment works for men and after research and many realizations I have come to understand why a man can love a woman and still not want a commitment.
One reason a man does not want to commit to marriage even when he love a woman is that the kind of love he has for a woman, and is not that he is telling you lies, but he may love a woman in a different kind of love. There are many types of love.
There is a friendly love, the kind of love we have for a dear friend. If you have been with a man for a long time, and especially if romantic love has subsided a notch, he may very well love you as a friend. One guy I know told me that after being with a woman for several years, living together for two years, and marrying her eventually, he filed for divorce after being married for less than a year. He said he had the utmost respect for his wife, but the passion was gone. He started to feel as if they were very close friends, but romantic love was no longer present.
Another reason a man will not commit to a marriage even though he loves a woman is that his life goals are not aligned with hers. He loves her, but he simply doesn't see a 'forever' future with her. It could be because his goal has never been to find a woman to spend the rest of his life with. He may love you, even be in love with you, but he can't see past the two year mark in the future.
If you are suspecting his could be the case, ask yourself, can he commit to anything? A good test to put your man and relationship under is to review his life as a whole. Is he able to commit to at least five years on the same job? Is his residence a long-term arrangement? Does he own a home? Does he have strong ties that would keep him at the same place for years ahead?
If your man travels light, if he has moved five times in the last three years; if he has changed four jobs in the last year, this could be a red flag that your man cannot commit to a permanent arrangement.
Ask your man, where do you see yourself in five years? And if he says, I don't know; I don't even know what I am doing next weekend..... you should know that requiring this kind of man to commit to marriage may be pointless. He may love you, but if he can't see past a couple of weeks, he certainly cannot envision spending the rest of his life with a woman.
When a man is not certain about his own future and a direction he is going, he certainly will not be able to see how you fit into this vague picture of his own future.
The last, and most important thing to understand about commitment and why men won't commit is that often a man can love a woman, but the qualities he wants in a woman to whom he will commit to for life are missing. In my Guide To Commitment explains in detail what qualities must be present in a woman who gets the ring and what most men subconsciously want in a woman they commit to. Once you understand what it is your man needs in order to make commitment to you, you will be able to transform your relationship from a rocky, unstable casual dating into a deeply emotionally bonded relationship for life!