1. Never end a relationship via text message.
You're better than Russell Brand! A breakup should be at least slightly harder to initiate than a game of Words With Friends.
2. Don't say you "want space" when you really just want to break up. Actually, never say you "want space," period. If that's what you want, move to the country.
3. In your actual breakup conversation, focus on the big picture. Pick the top two or three reasons things aren't working and stick to them. His playing air guitar in public doesn't need to come into this.
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4. Be kind. Be honest. Be respectful. Be unavailable. As bad as you feel, you are the very last person your former beau should be leaning on to process this breakup--and you might have to be the one who enforces this rule.
Rules for Dumpees
So. The worst has happened. Here's what to do now:
1. Write all the angry emails you want. Don't send them. Also, resist the urge to post rants about your ex where the world (or at least all of Reddit) can see it. Remember, he has your secrets and could do the same.
2. Disconnect as completely as you can. Take his number out of your phone. Don't go to "his" bar. Don't read his Twitter. Don't check his Facebook. See, not so bad, right?
3. Keep any "sex with the ex" in perspective. It doesn't mean you're back together or that you're weak. It happened. It happens. If it's happening too much, see the previous rule.
4. Remember this isn't your only relationship. Your loved ones were there for you before you met this guy, and they are there for you now. Lean on them. And forgive, even if you can't forget. That whole letting-go- of-anger thing feels pretty good.
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