by QuickieChick Laurel House
Checkhimout.comWhether the relationship was good or bad, women are often still seriously bummed about it when it's over and we have a really hard time moving on. EVEN if the relationship was honestly awful, we still struggle to stop thinking about him, oddly "forgetting" all of the bad stuff and just remembering the good. It's time to stop living in the past because your fabulous future is waiting!
But of course, just jumping into a new guys arms isn't going to magically repair your heart- same feeling different face. NO. HOWEVER, it is a good idea to start looking, window shopping, seeing what else is out there- you will be reassured that there really are LOTS of available, fantastic, guys who are better than your ex in many ways.
While you really aren't ready to hunker down with a newly titled BF (believe me… you AREN'T READY), dating isn't always about relationships. You can date for fun, for learning, for exploring, for companionship too. So if you're comfortable, go on some dates to have fun and remember how good it feels to feel good! Have engaging conversation. An easy way to do that is by going online. Of course, being barraged by unwanted suitors sending creepster messages is a quick way to change your mind about this online window shopping experience, so instead- take control of who can and can't message you. There is a new online dating website called Checkhimout.com that has, what they call, a "Man-Ventory." It's the perfect way to get back on the market, because you don't even have to engage with anyone unless YOU decide to. You can just window shop if you want. The idea is that women are in the driver's seat and are the only ones with the power to do initial outreach to the "products" (BTW, the women are called "shopper!"). Lonely late at night? Online dating sites make it easy to see with your own eyes just how many eligible good guys are in your area.
If the idea of dating repulses you, refocus your priorities from someone else to you, and work wholly on yourself. Dive into making yourself feel good! Dress up and feel beautiful. Work on your body and mind by getting back into a workout program. Hang out with friends who inspire and uplift you (and are also your go-to call when you really want to call him, but know you shouldn't). Write a list of all of the shitty things about your ex (this isn't about bashing him, but instead reminding you so that you don't only remember the good things). Create an intention board of how you want to feel and what you hope your next relationship looks like. Think about your core values- who you are… really.
That's what TO do. There are lots of things NOT to do and lots of steps to take to help keep your mind from wandering back into your past and fixating on (and worse- going back to) your ex… in the video above.
Then when you ARE ready to date.... don't forget your DATING POWER TOOLS... below:
Laurel HouseLaurel House is a LifeStylist, Dating and Relationship Expert, 4x published Lifestyle Author, and nationally recognized Print and Online Magazine Writer covering travel, relationships, healthy food and fitness (New You, Women's Health, First for Women, Men's Journal, Yahoo! Shine, Elegant Bride, Fit, Spa, Fit Yoga, Playboy, etc). Beyond writing, she has appeared as an expert on television morning shows including E! News, Weekend TODAY, The Daily Buzz, Better.TV, Good DayLA, CBS, Fox, NBC, and ABC Morning News shows both locally and nationally, and her YouTube videos have received over 9 million views. Her 4th book "QuickieChick's Cheat Sheet to Life, Love, Food, Fitness, Fashion and Finance on a Less than Fabulous Budget" was published by St. Martin's in May 2012. She is also hired to give personalized dating and relationship advice at ScrewingTheRules.com.