I love Thanksgiving. It's my favorite holiday. It's a kick-off to the holiday season (Halloween doesn't count), and the best holiday, as far as I'm concerned. Everyone celebrates it and there aren't a lot of rules: eat well, enjoy each other's company, pack up some leftovers. But if you're single-and-dating, Thanksgiving may also be the kick-off to a "what are we doing" conversation.
If you're a married woman, you have Thanksgiving dinner with your husband. It might be somewhere you're excited to be, it might be somewhere you're not excited to be, but wherever it is, you're there with your husband. If you're single-and-dating, a conversation often has to be had: Where are you having Thanksgiving dinner? Are we having it together?
This conversation can get complicated. And it can also make a statement about the status of the relationship.
If the relationship is seriously serious, you're having Thanksgiving dinner together. 'Where' is another discussion, but you'll be together. (If you think y'all are serious and you're not celebrating this holiday dinner together, somebody'd better have a really good excuse, like… well, actually I can't think of one).
If you're dating, celebrating-Thanksgiving-together-or-not makes a statement. It can say, "I really dig you, but I'm not ready to bring you into the group." Maybe. It might not mean anything much. It could mean we can't both afford to travel to 'X' place, so I'll call you when I get there. It could mean "My family won't forgive me if I don't come," and you're both saying that. But it often really does mean-spoken or not-"We're not that serious, we're just having fun."
When it's a new relationship, I vote for separate holidays. There's too much going on: family, friends, stress, "who is this," etc. Just call each other that morning and again after dinner and say something nice.
I guess I'm a slow learner, because I've made this mistake more than once. Read more …