By Chiara Atik for HowAboutWe.com
I was nine years old when The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mister Right was first published in 1995, but I still remember the buzz it caused. 15 years later, how well have The Rules stood the test of time?
The Top Ten Rules, by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider.
1. Be A Creature Unlike Any Other
Uh, ok. How, exactly? Well, Fein and Schneider have a few suggestions for us. For example, we should try pausing between sentences! Dressing demurely! Breathing slowly! Walking briskly!
Right. So next time you go to a bar, just wear a long skirt and a sweater, walk briskly to someone, say something, pause, take a deep slow breath, say something again, and wait for the magic to happen.
Verdict: Ridiculous. Don't try this at home, girls.
Related: 6 Things Girls Shouldn't Wear On A Date
2. Show up to parties, dances, and social events even if you do not feel like it.
If you're actively looking for someone to date (or, sure, marry, I guess), then you're probably not going to find that person in your apartment. The more you go out, the more people you meet.
Verdict: This one makes sense to us. +1
3. It's a fantasy relationship unless a man asks you out
Yeah, but, this one time we were out and he said he liked my outfit, and then this other time he bought me a drink, and he texted "hey you", and you don't understand, we really connect!
Verdict: Painful to admit, but yes, it's not a relationship unless he calls. +1
Related: The One Date Rule
4. In an office romance, do not email him back every time he emails you, unless it's business related
Fein and Schneider suggest responding to one out of every four messages. We're personally not fans of any sort of regimented formula dictating when you can talk to someone you're in a relationship with.
Verdict: Ridiculous. We'll respond whenever we feel like responding, thank you very much.
5. If you are in a long distance relationship, he must visit you at least three times before you visit him.
What? No, seriously, what? There are wayyyy too many factors in a long-distance relationship, including money, schedules, and flexibility, and these matter way more than gender.
Verdict: Not even just ridiculous: embarrassingly ridiculous.
6. When considering whether to use personal ads or dating services, you should place the ad and let men respond to you.
Uh-huh, just like when seeking employment you should place an ad with your resume and qualifications and just wait for the job offers to start pouring in.
Verdict: Ridiculous. Come on, Fein and Schneider, it's 2010: life doesn't work like this anymore.
Related: The 5 Signs You're A Filler Girlfriend
7. If he does not call, he is not interested. Period.
Yes, and also "email", "text", "initiate any form of communication."
Verdict: Yep. We agree. A Facebook Poke is not love.
8. Close the deal: Rules women do not date men for more than two years.
Can we revise this to "Women who are absolutely desperate to get married do not date men for more than two years"? Because, if marriage is your ultimate and only goal, then sure, we agree, but we're not sure that's everyone's main objective anymore.
Verdict: Yes...but, seems sad. +.5
Related: The Danger Of Wafflers
9. Buyer Beware: Observe his behavior so you do not end up with Mr.Wrong. Absolutely agree. If literacy is important to you, make sure he reads a book every once in a while. If he is rude to his mother/a waiter/an employee, he's a rude person, period. If you're really social and he hates going out, it's not going to get better with time.
Verdict: Can't disagree here. +1
10. Keep the rules even when things are slow.
Ok, not really sure what this means (walk briskly and breathe slowly ALWAYS, or ELSE!), but we reinterpret this as "don't let yourself go just because you aren't dating", then we agree. You could meet the next love of your life tomorrow, so you should always try to be generally amenable and ready!
Verdict: Sure, why not? +1.
Final Verdict: 4.5/10 Rules Agreed with.
Aside from a few universal truths about dating, it's probably time to break The Rules.
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By Chiara Atik for HowAboutWe.com