How do you know when you're ready for a relationship? (& 5 reasons I'm not)

I'm ready he's not. But I'm just gonna try to continue on with my life , follow my dreams and hopefully I can find the one.

couldn't find fault in one thing you said.

i agree also with jessabluebell. though i've never been into a relationship i feel like sometimes we just make excuses for not having and/or getting into relaionship. for me getting into a relationship shouldn't be viewed as a distraction to our future plans but instead something also we can look forward to, isn't it great that we have someone that we can share our achievements in life, the ups and downs.. just let us prepare and be ready our self for that love to come and when it comes we can welcome it with all our heart..

To me you know when you are ready for a relationship just like you know when you are not ready for a realtionship too. Most of the time all you have to do is listen to your heart.

Rich. I totally agree with you. Right now I know two types of people in their 20 somethings, the ones that manage to marry young and the ones (like me) that simply cannot make their minds regarding Marriage. I also agree that if you're going to give something to someone it better be something as good as it can get, meaning a person that has already collected some experience and cash flow to give security to a future family and that can setle down without much regrets. I totally agree with you and besides, the point is I have not met the man that can sweep me off my feet so at this point I, too, am focusing on my career.

I just realized, I'm not ready, lol. I thought I was, but when you're not with someone, you realize how much your not ready, as opposed to thinking your ready when your already with someone. I like your style Rich.

I think that these are great things to have in place, however, I feel like dating is the same thing as having kids. Everyone tells you not to wait until you have enough money to have kids, otherwise you'll never have them! It's the same with dating, you can't wait till everything is perfect in order to date. Sometimes you just need to do it and be open enough to meet people. That being said - you definitely want to make sure that any old wounds are healed and that you're confident in yourself. Here's a great read on a young woman and her struggles to date: http://buzz.prevention.com/community/single-mom-party/finding-the-real-me

when you are ready to settle down your heart will tell you. And i would have to agree with everyone else, holding back because of a few stupid things are gonna keep you from finding the right person. Even i have excuses not to be ready yet i give guys a chance. Some last a long time others dont work out at all and stalk me like the current ex. When love finds you there will be a huge reaction and no matter what problem stands in your way you will find a way to move it.

You dont need little things to get in the way of dating and searching for the right person. it is not right to let stuff stand in the way of your own happiness. i no what i am talking about i have been in that spot too many times already. please just drop the probs and look anyways.

well said jessabluebell!

"Maybe that's how people know when they're ready; when being with that someone feels like a privelege, not a responsibility."

Also i believe when you are thinking about what you want to do for them, rather than what you want from them... like when someone asks you what do you look for in a mate..? for example, most people say "smart, funny, someone i can go to the movies with..." some will say, "i want someone to spoil..."

I think I am ready, because I don't worry about money, career and I am healthy. I am also mature and ready to have a respectful, loving, and understanding relationship. I know what I want and I am fully aware what I don't want. I know now, you can't always judge a book by his cover, but the cover usually does inform you what the book is about.
I'd like to meet a guy with this cover, "I know myself, and I like what I see when I look in the mirror".

Rich,

You seem to be totally in pain regarding when the right time is for things. Time is NOT real. You might age but you will find that some people are ageless and some age prematurely. What I am trying to say is that you can spend alot of time alone waiting for the RIGHT time or you can make many friends and keep your heart and spirit alive by letting the ebbs and flows of life just happen. Dont hide your heart for the right time, just get buisy having the time of your life.-Rachel.

Rich, if you keep waiting for things like complete professional satisfaction or having more than $6 in your checking account...you may never settle down. Once you accomplish those things, there will be other things keeping you from being ready. You will be "ready" when you meet the right person and fall for them. You will realize that you can have that person and still accomplish what you want.

I thought about the same things you do but when I met my husband, I knew he was the right guy for me. The only difference between then and now is that I have someone to support me as I climb the ladder and accomplish my goals. The right person will be a complement to your goals, not hinder you in reaching them!

Ok, my comment sounds totally lame but it's true for me.

It was like reading my own thoughts! It's a bit creepy that we have the exact same fears, worries and reasons to not be in a relationship right now. I believe that it will happen when you least expect it and yes it will hit you right in the face so you don't let it just pass you right by! Good luck to both of us!

You will never have the right amount of money in your savings, you will never be completely satisfied with your career. If we weren't constantly evolving and contstantly establishing and meeting new goals, what would be the point of living? I'm not saying everyone is destined to be poor and unhappy, but I'm saying that if you want someone in your life, you have to allow it.
Another thing - I've noticed that a lot of people on Shine talk about how great it is not to have to answer to anyone or be responsible for anyone other than themselves. Maybe I've been lucky, but I have never been in a relationship where thinking about what the other person needs or wants is an inconvenience.
Maybe that's how people know when they're ready; when being with that someone feels like a privelege, not a responsibility.

I know how you feel because i have been there and always wondered if i would always find mr. right. I can tell u for sure that i am not financially stable nor professionally but i must say that in my heart i feel ready. When you find the right person you will feel it in your heart and everything else will just fall in place. In my few years that I have lived i have stood by a philosophy that everything happens for a reason.... so stop over thinking your happiness...just let it be and believe me you will feel so much better and stress less.

jessabluebell I agree with she is soooo right!!!

Wow, I know exactly how you feel! I am in the same place right now as well. I've been single for over a year and still find myself wondering if I am ready to be in a committed relationship. Meeting people isn't that hard for me, it's taking it to the next level where I get stuck. I still enjoy my space, but I would also like someone to hang out with that has similar interest, mentally challenging, and laugh with. I'm afraid that If a great guy came along I wouldn't know what to with him.
I'm also hoping that love or the feeling of love would just happen to me. Sadly, I haven't had those kinds of feelings for anyone no matter how many dates I've been on. Still, I keep on living and keep a positive attitude and think that maybe we just need the "right" person to come along and snap us back in to place. Good Luck Rich...for both people like us:)

I understand how you feel completely. I am 20 years old and on my on.
I have a boyfriend who is everthing I could ever want. He is ready for the "next step" but I feel I am too young for marriage. He has been pressuring me a lot lately and it makes me feel like running away. You will know when you are ready for a relationship. It will just happen and you won't wonder if she is the one. You will know it.

To me the truth would be there isnt just one person out there that can make you happy. I also am working on myself I have only been single for 6 months, but i really havent been single since high school, every time someone fell out someone fell right in and im 23 now and enjoying being single. I also want to fulfill some of my goals before settling down. We all want to feel accomplished of something and there is more to life than relationships and sex. Heres some input on the one night stands tho theres nothing wrong with them, but i also dont really like them. To me its better to have a friend with benefits for the time being you know you have a friend you want and the feeling is mutual we all have them and theres nothing wrong with the two of you coming to that agreement and letting your feelings flow as long as both of you understand nothing else is going to come out of it. Good luck to everyone!

I feel your pain. I love someone right now. But in my heart I know that I can't give a relationship the time or energy it deserves. We have been in limbo for five years. Neither of us are ready. Every thing you brought up I've thought to myself a million times over and I know that I can't do it right now. I may not be able to do it until im in my forties and Im okay with that too.