How not to cheat

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There's so much in the news these days about cheating that you have to wonder just how these morons manage to get caught so often. That's why I smirked when I read this post from my girls over at The Frisky called "Dating Don'ts: How Not to Cheat (Or Seem Like You Are)." Yes Madonna and A-Rod, Sienna and Balthazar, take note: "if you're going to step out, at least have a little consideration for your main squeeze and don't get caught."

For example, all text messaging is good for is leaving a sordid trail of evidence behind you. Then there's the old teacher's pet scenario. Can we say Debra Lafave and Mary Kay LeTourneau? "...since teenage boys aren't really discrete," is it any wonder these cradle robbers got outed and punished (deservedly) for their crimes? And of course, everyone's been keeping tabs on the nanny diaries. Says their blogger, "Much like hooking up with a member of the family, these affairs inevitably get found out and are messier than anything you'd find in a nappy." That's right. Whether you're Woody Allen trying to date your daughter Soon Yi on the sly, or Ethan Hawk dissing your bride Uma Thurman for the painfully mousy in contrast hired help, you will inevitably get busted.

What are your favorite "you deserve to get caught you dumbass" mistakes? Personally, I'm gonna have to go with blowing vast amounts of cash on hookers and praying your wife (not to mention the voting public) doesn't notice, Spitzer.