How to Catfish Yourself

Monday night marks the conclusion of the first season of MTV's  "Catfish: The TV Show" about couples who fall in love on the Internet. The series is hosted by Nev Shulman (the documentary filmmaker behind the 2010 film "Catfish" about Shulman's experience with a woman who falsified her identity online) who, with his partner Max Joseph visits the homes of real couples who have never met in person to help each party figure out if they're being catfished.

Recently the term catfish has become a media catchphrase (Hi Manti T'eo!) used in stories to warn people about getting romantically bamboozled by a total stranger. No, no. You don't want to get catfished—or do you? Well, that depends. Sometimes, a healthy dose of catfishing can improve your love life, that is, if you're the one pulling the puppet strings. Let's say for example, you've been dumped. Whether you want your boyfriend back or wish to drive him crazy with jealousy, catfishing yourself may be for you. Want to try it? Follow these steps to creating an online profile for your fake boyfriend:

Choose his photo wisely: Can he be hot? Absolutely. Should it appear as though he was ripped from the pages of Abercrombie? Cool it. If you find yourself trolling guys from Crest ads, ask yourself: Did your ex happen to meet a gorgeous model after your breakup? No? Then neither did you.

Craft his persona with care: As you may or may not have discovered in the real world, it can be tough to find a guy who's both gorgeous and brilliant. So pick a side. If he's breathtaking, he didn't go to Harvard. If he's a member of Mensa, he won't have chiseled abs. Your best bet is to strike a happy medium: Hot and smart with a smattering of interesting yet run-of-the-mill hobbies so he's well-rounded but not unattainable. Rock climbing? Sure. Spends his time trying to solve the Riemann Hypothesis? Prolly not.

Befriend, befriend, befriend: Remember, this is an investment, of both your emotions and your time. So while it's tempting to already be "seeing someone" the day after the breakup, this breed of revenge needs time to marinate. In order to make your profile look realistic, your new boyfriend has to have friends. And not just a few, but at least 100. So befriend everyone you know as well as everyone they know. Plus, don't be afraid to send random strangers friend requests. The more the merrier!

Post sweet nothings: Once your profile is completed, you're ready to message yourself. The key here is subtlety. Instead of updating your relationship status (too obvious), evoke a little mystery by writing strategic messages on your wall. Examples: "It was great seeing you this weekend", "What are you up to later?" and "Pretty picture!" These sentiments are benign enough to not give you away completely but attentive enough to raise suspicion. Also: Cool it with the "Likes" or you'll come off as stalker-y.

Create the illusion of romance: Of course, what's a boyfriend without some proof? So he won't seem like the Snuffleupagus of Facebook, make a point to learn Photoshop to doctor your photos so they reflect a real-life relationship. If you don't own the program already, try an app like Superimpose. But whatever you do, don't be this girl. 

Stay mum: This can't be emphasized enough: Do not share your secret with anyone. Not your cube mate at the office, not your sister, and definitely not your friends. While everyone may think it's momentarily hilarious, you'll come off as unhinged. Plus, the potential to be outed is far too great.

Pick an end date: The charade can't go on forever so while you're catfishing, be mindful of the effect. If you're stirring interest from your ex, then mission accomplished. If all you're getting is radio silence, go out and find yourself a real boyfriend.