When I was dating my last girlfriend, I got spiteful at times. When she forgot to text me when she got home after going out with her friends, I vowed to "forget" to tell her when I got home after a night out. When she'd forget to write back to a question via text, I'd add to my running tally of times I'd ignore her questions on text. It was an eye for an eye...and somewhat immature.
Dating makes us vengeful. Here are some examples of how we seek revenge in dating:
This kind of revenge plays itself out consistently throughout relationships. Usually, when a couple goes out, one person in the couple gets hit on or talks "too long" to someone of the opposite sex.
At this point, the other person in the couple can either integrate themselves into the conversation, stand there looking stupid, or flirt someone on their own for their significant other to see. Sometimes, it's about saying: "Hey look, I'm desirable too," or "if you're going to flirt, then I will too."
Sex With a "Strategic" Person
Unfortunately, people don't always take sex seriously. This can be used as a vehicle for revenge. For example the "pole theory" - pursuing people with relationships on both ends of the spectrum of your significant other's life. In other words, someone that is close to them (like a best friend) or someone they hate (like your ex).
Don't get me wrong, if you have sex with a random it will obviously upset your significant other. But it stings more if you have sex with someone they love or hate.
Rejection Regardless of Actual Feelings
I'm guilty of this immature maneuver. A girl once told me she only liked me as a friend, and "valued" that friendship. So, I packed this rejection away in my mind, knowing that she'd be back wanting more. Over the next few months I was an attractive friend who did his best to make himself look desirable to many women in front of my friend. I wanted her to realize she missed a chance...so I could have my chance at revenge.
Sure enough, eventually she told me she had a change of heart. I didn't hesitate to consider if I still had feelings for her. I told her: "Too bad, I only like you as a friend."
Who knows if I ruined a chance at a great relationship? I was more intent on evening up the rejection score.
What do you think of my list and what ways would you add to the list. Have you ever been a victim of revenge, or sought revenge on a significant other? If so, how?
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